I hate Fridays. Yay! No work for two days.. But, the kids will go to their dad’s this weekend, and I will come home to an empty house. I will be alone to process all the shit that has been handed to me.. I can be my own best friend, and worse enemy. I am hurt. But I’m not even allowed to show it. Not allowed to be weak. I have to stay strong as I crumble inside. I do not feel strong today. I have no friends, no family… No one… I am so alone. And it hurts like hell. Some days, I feel strong.. But other days- like today, I am so weak. I feel like a wobbly mess.
So yesterday was not a bad day at all… I might be transferring to another office, and to a higher position. I am super excited! I will have the opportunity to thrive, and better care for my kids. My goal is to- in a year after the transfer, purchase a home/townhome/condo for me and my kiddos… Doable? I think so! I am going to just keep moving forward! After the divorce, I will go back to being a “Booker”… Kids and I will once again share a last name.. That is super important to me.. And, no matter what, I will be okay.. I know I will. I hope that I don’t spend the rest of my days alone… But I hope that I will find love one day- true love… Just not tomorrow! I can wait! Haha
Maybe the outlook for today is a bright one afterall… Already I am feeling better!