I am learning that bad things happen to good people- bad people- everyone. There is often no explanation. All I want is to know “WHY?” “Why doesn’t he love me?” “Why is he leaving me?” “Why, why, why?” There is no explanation for why… He doesn’t even know why he is leaving me. He doesn’t know what it will take to make his final decision to leave me, or stay away. I am left hanging in the balance and he doesn’t see the pain it is causing me. He doesn’t care that it has destroyed me beyond repair. Because, truthfully, if he comes back to me… Can I forgive the pain he has caused me since he walked out on me on May 14, 2015? Can I forgive the tears I have cried, the hurt I have felt? No, I don’t think I can. He made me feel so disposable. I do deserve better than that, don’t I? I am a person too. I have feelings too… I matter too! My life matters! Right? Time to move on? I must move on.. I know that I must. Hanging on is killing me.