Dear Mom and Dad

I know that you are busy with you own lives. You’ve always been so busy. However, just once, I wish that you weren’t too busy for me. I am struggling. I am hurting. My pain is real, and at times it’s more than I can bear. I wish that I could go to you. I wish I could share my pain. I wish that you could soothe my hurt, and calm my fears. I wish you’d just be here for me. But, you never have been, and you never will. You tell me that I can call you anytime, but you don’t answer. I send a text message and sometimes, it’s days before you respond, Dad. Then, you, Mom, yes, you’ll answer my call, but I end up listening to you, and every petty little thing that’s going on in your life. But, that’s always been our relationship, hasn’t it. You take, and take, and take from me – everyone does, and I allow it. I have you both to thank for that. But right now I need you. I need your love. I need you to hold my hand through this trial. I need you to be here for me. I feel so alone. So many people have their parents to turn to when they are not doing well. I don’t. You had four children. Your four children are all in some sort of pain right now. Some of us are nearing the end of our rope, and just want to give up, and you don’t even know it. You don’t care to know. What more do I have to do to earn your love? I have two failed marriages. I have chosen to love men that mistreat me. Men that don’t care about me. Men that can live without me. I gave them my heart, and they broke it. Did you know that I was nearly hospitalized? Did you know that I was very close to attempting suicide at least four times in the last three months? Did you know that on my own birthday I nearly ended my life? I hurt. I am in so much pain, and I feel all alone. I have nowhere to turn. MOM! DAD! Why aren’t you here? You were distant to me as a child. You are distant to me now, and I am in so much pain…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s