No one to blame…

There’s no one to blame but myself for the pain that I feel. There’s no one but to blame but myself for why I’m all alone. There’s no one to blame but myself for why no one wants anything to do with me. I’ve lost everything, and there’s no one to blame but me. I don’t want to go one, and there’s no one to blame but me. There’s no one to blame. There’s no one to say good bye to, no one to mourn me, and it’s all my fault. I don’t think I can go on. I really don’t want to go on any more. What’s the point. Why do I wake up everyday? I don’t even know. My heart is broken. I am broken. I am not whole anymore. I remember Brian saying those words. I thought he was being dramatic. I had never felt that way in all of my life. Now I know just how he felt, and no one cares. It’s too late. I always hold it together all day at work, and whenever I have the kids, whenever I’m around people. But when I’m alone… Those moments when I’m alone, I crumble. I am a mess, and no one is there. They are all there when I am holding it together. But when I crumble, when I fall, no one is there, and it is all my fault. I am crumbling. I am falling apart. I can’t go on anymore. I’m so sad… So, so sad…

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