Everything is not okay. Everything will be okay. Everything was okay. I was fine. Then, last Wednesday, I opened my heart to him. Then, in crept anxiety, depression… The tears came back, the hopelessness. The yelling, the restlessness, the sleepless nights. The irritability. It isn’t fair to me. It isn’t fair to my kids. And you know what hurts the most, like always, I’m the only one loving, the only one caring, the only one trying… If I don’t text, he doesn’t text… Hell, when I text, he doesn’t text. He doesn’t give a care in this world about me. I was such a fool. Why am I always his fool? When will I stop? Today. It has to be today. Because every day that passes is a day that is is only harmful to my own health.
The cracks are showing. The heartache, the heartbreak… It’s back… It’s magnified… I feel like it hurts more… BUT, I feel like I can overcome the pain better. Am I letting him go on my own terms? I’m telling myself that. He doesn’t love me, or care, but I am choosing to walk away. I am choosing to not wait around… So, I feel like I am taking control of my own feelings this time. I am going to finally