No one sees…

I am a ghost. No one sees me. No one hears me. I am stuck in purgatory. No one cares. God doesn’t hear me. He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t love me. No one does. I am all alone. His eye is on the sparrow, but He doesn’t see me. He doesn’t hear my cry. He doesn’t love me. I am beyond God’s love. I want to die, but even death won’t have me. No one hears my cry. No one sees my pain. No one cares about me. I suffer alone. God doesn’t even love me, why would anyone else? All I want is to die now. I give up on everything else. I give up on living. I’m done. I have repented of all my sins and transgressions, but I will forever have to pay for every sin. There is no forgiveness for me. I will live in hell, then die and go there. God doesn’t hear me when I repent, He doesn’t hear my pleas or my cries for love. He doesn’t hear my penitent heart. He doesn’t hear me when I weep. He doesn’t hear me when my heart is full of love and adoration and praise. He doesn’t hear me when I praise Him or when I curse Him. He doesn’t hear me. He doesn’t hear me when I beg for mercy, or love, or help. He doesn’t hear me when I am grateful. He doesn’t hear me when I am mad. He doesn’t hear me when I am glad. He doesn’t hear me. His eye is on a bird. A bird! But not me. He has no time for me. I don’t matter. My soul doesn’t matter. My whole life. My whole life has been like this. And this is as good as its gonna get. I know it is. I just want to die. I just want to die. I am tired of this life. I am tired of this pain.

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