The Loves of my Life

There is no doubt about it, no competition! My KIDS, hands down, are the loves of my life. I would do anything for them. I would move mountains for them. They come first in my life. No one else matters. They have been with me through hell, and high water. They have stuck beside me through sickness and health, through good times, and bad. They love me endlessly. They love me unconditionally. And to top it off, they are GREAT kids! I am BLESSED beyond measure! I am so blessed to have such amazing kids!

I am faced with weighing a huge decision. The loves of my life versus my husband… Now, I don’t quite think that I have quite welcomed Brian back into my heart/life fully. Granted, I don’t think he is even fully back, so no big deal any way, right? (That’s kind of the way I see it.) I don’t see myself investing my ALL. Not this time. I can’t. Not after what has happened. Not after all of the pain. I can forgive. I can forget. But, the pain isn’t gone? I don’t really care about what he has/hasn’t/will/won’t do… I am still deciding…

Anyway! Back to the kids… Yesterday was an emotional day… I was thinking about it, and it occurred to me Michaela was so emotional because Brian was back. I was right. She was concerned that I would spend more time with him. She was upset that he sleeps with me. (She wants me to sleep alone.) All valid reasons. Right? Sure! I don’t want to feel like I am having to choose… I don’t like it… But, let’s be real about who I will choose, shall we?

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