I’m going to take a break from the marriage posts, and write about work, or as I affectionately call it, “Wonderland.” So many of the youth are obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. I don’t know that they realize that it is just a story. They think that they are living their very own versions of it themselves. It is interesting. What intrigues me the most is one character, our very own Mad Hatter, whom was married to a different kind of sad, version of Alice. However, in this outcome, it was not the Queen of Hearts that was after our Alice. Oh no… Our Alice killed herself. She killed herself, and she haunts us day and night, and we see her killing herself in a variety of ways.

So, I can recall having an imaginary friend back when I was younger. Children create imaginary friends as a way to deal with stress, loneliness, and/or conflict. Now typically, children outgrow the need for an imaginary friend, and their imaginary friend or pet will run away, or disappear in some manner. The interesting factor that I find in our very own Mad Hatter is how inhumanely he killed Alice off, yet he keeps killing her, over and over again.

I had an imaginary orange cat. I don’t even think he had a name. He would wait for me on my bed when I got home from school, and I would pet him, and love him, and talk to him. One day, when I no longer needed him, he just wasn’t there. I explained it to myself that he ran away to a new home. I needed him because life for me was BAD. My mother was abusive, dad too. They took EVERYTHING from me. I shared a room with my sister and was not allowed to speak to her. It was my way of coping. Heck, my mother would not even speak to me.

Enough about me… Our Mad Hatter has decided not to take his medication, and has been off of his medication for roughly five days now. He knows that his hallucinations are just that – hallucinations. However, “my hallucinations are so real, I can almost hold her.” He believes that it is better to have a relationship with his hallucination, that with a real human being, because his hallucination will always be with him – “people in my life always leave.” That nearly struck a cord. How do I convince this poor kid that it simply is not true? Not all people leave? So I say… “Not all people leave, there are people like you, and myself that stay. You just have to find the right ones.” Do I even believe that?

If he needs Alice so badly, why does he keep killing her? Even authors, when writing a book, give lives to their characters. Their characters often become “real” in a sense, to them. I suppose they have to kill them off at times. However, it isn’t the same. They are telling a story, the characters are not their only lifeline. They do not need the characters in order to have someone by their side – in order to not feel so alone. WHY DID HE KILL HER OFF??? If she had just run away, she could come back… Oh, she could come back, then he would have to admit that she was never real. He had to kill her off, that way he could pretend that she was once real, and he could have his “supernatural love affair.” A love that transcends time and space or whatever the books say… I don’t read that crap. What is sad to me is the fact that it is his reality… He has made Alice in Wonderland his reality. Well, his own version of it anyway.

Then there was our own Cheshire Cat. She was obsessed with time. Did it exist? Didn’t it? This was all a twisted dream, and she would wake up out of it. I’m sorry, dear, you are not on a long “trip” from this drug, or that… This is your life. You are living it. Oh, and she was so creative! She could draw so well, but every drawing was centered around the Alice in Wonderland, the Cheshire Cat, and the clock (?) I don’t really remember a clock, but I’m sure it was there, because these kids know that movie better than anyone.

Unlike Alice, we don’t get a do-over. We won’t get to wake up one day and discover that we have been dreaming, and right what was wrong. Life is no Wonderland. It is not as easy as escaping to your imaginary friends, and avoiding people, and real relationships. Life is not without hurt. It is not a dream from which you will wake up and redo one day. We have heard it said so many times that it is cliche: You’ve only got one life to live. It is so true, so you have start living it, and you have to live it well!


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