It’s Finished

finished red grunge vintage stamp isolated on white background

October 15, 2016 – I moved – hopefully for the last time while I am living in the State of Washington. I so desperately want to leave this place…

So, I got NO sleep after pulling 10 hours at work, moving, and returning to work for another 10 hour shift… Okay, I took an hour and a half nap… As I was laying there I debated, more sleep or shower, more sleep or shower? I decided on a shower, I was pretty stinky… In the shower, my prayer closet of sorts, I immediately began to feel overwhelmed. The apartment is a mess. I need to clean the townhouse. I have so much to do. My debit card is missing. I just feel at a HUGE loss! Brian wants to “settle” by taking the Journey from me. And more than anything, I’M TIRED! So, I started to cry, and was just about to start my begging God routine, and asking Him why? When, in a still, small voice, He halted me dead in my tracks. He said, “It’s finished.” That’s it. Just “It’s finished.” I said aloud, “It’s finished?” And in the steamy shower, His peace washed over me, and dried up my tears (And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelations 21:4) I couldn’t even cry. I didn’t want to cry. I felt peace. I still feel His peace. I don’t know how, but I know that everything will be alright. God has something greater for me. I do not know what, maybe He had it before, and I was out of His will when I took Brian back last year. This time, I heard His voice. It’s finished. My marriage done. I can let go. I prayed: Thy will be done. Perhaps because I already knew the outcome. Perhaps because I knew that this is what should have occurred a year ago. If only He could direct my every move like that every day! Hahaha… I know.. FREE WILL… Those few times He is like, This girl…  And has to get me in line… I appreciate it… I won’t forget – I can’t forget… “It’s finished.” And just like when He gave His life on the cross, when He uttered the words, “It is finished,” He did not mean, “It is done,” It was only the beginning of something greater, a new chapter had begun. We were able to have a more intimate relationship with Christ. I look forward to what He has in store for me. “It’s finished,” with Brian, something that never should have been from the start. But new life is beginning. A chance to become more intimate with Christ. And when He sees fit for me to find love, He will give me the love and connection I crave… A lasting love/friendship/companionship that will grow, until death do us part… That’s what I crave. It’s was I long for, it’s what I deserve. I have a lot to offer. I have a lot of love to give. But… that’s in the future… Not today…

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