Making a List

I had lunch, for the second time with my friend, Cris. He, too, is a two-time divorcee, and having just retired from the Army, with a son with special needs, like me, he has not given up on love, yet refuses to fail a third time. In any case, he has this infamous “list” of requirements for the next person with whom he will enter a relationship. I had been meaning to make such a list. It was something that, admittedly I had been putting off. I do not think that I am ready to date, or even think of being in a relationship. But, it isn’t bad to know what I want. Cris is pretty set on knowing what he wants, and if she doesn’t make the list, she isn’t a fit. I admire that. I asked him to share his list, at first he would not, but he did share #1. Must love Jesus more than me. Stole! What a great start to a list for a spouse/companion! He knows, I stole that one… Then he shared #2. Must like my son like their own. I tweaked it a bit to read: Must accept my kids as their own. Same thing though… From there our lists differ a bit, but he gave me the courage to actually think about what I want. For that, I am grateful. There are 13 things on my list. Cris has 8. Some of his are ridiculous… For instance his #4. Bacon, ’nuff said. *rolls eyes* He had me until number 4, then he lost me… haha. Some of his others after that were really good though.

So, I made my list. I haven’t checked it twice. I wonder does such a man even exist. I wonder can I have the desire of my heart? I want to find a lasting love that is a friendship, and companionship, that grows deeper with each day. Where we know each other on an intimate level, not just the surface. Where he covers me, and I him. Where we are happy to grow old together. Where we look forward to the days with joy, when the kids are grown, and gone. Where we discover new things to know and love about one another. To know someone like, and allow someone to know me, better than I knew Chris, and better than he knew me. (And make the list) haha! Is it possible? How much would I be willing to spare? What are my absolutes? What are my negotiable pieces? I have to decide that as well… Guess I’m still making that list… Not quite ready to be checking it twice…

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