What is love?

I should tell you I’m disaster, I forget how to begin it. Let’s just make this part go faster I have yet to be in it.

I don’t embarrass easily – at least, that’s what I tell myself. In truth, I over-analyze everything, and become embarrassed rather easily – depending on the topic.

So, as of late, my dating life has been on everyone else’s mind – from old folks, to my age folks, to the teens. What the heck?! I was thoroughly embarrassed last night on Marko Polo – with Pastor’s wife – their youngest daughter walks by, asks who she’s talking to (Jessy), and says, “You should date _____!” Pastor’s wife’s mouth drops open and is like “What?” I didn’t even realize his mom was also in the room! She’s like “Who?” They describe who he is… I am watching – thoroughly mortified! Michaela is in the kitchen listening, like whaaaaat?! She comes over and is watching. Rewind to church – I taught the teens, and their daughter mentioned that I should date ____ then. I said “No. I’m older, I don’t date church guys. Blah, blah.” Her brother asked, “Well are you looking for Mr. Right?” “No, I’m not looking at all.” (Actually, I joked and said, “I’m looking for Mr. Wrong,” initially – so inappropriate. Shame on me.) Anyway, then the brother says, “I can’t picture you two, doing anything together, like kissing, and other stuff – like I can see you going on dates, and being friends, but not the other stuff.” I was like – ??? Speechless? His sister goes, “That’s gross, you aren’t supposed to picture them doing stuff, and you’re just trying to take her side!” I agreed that he shouldn’t picture it, I couldn’t either, and moved on – switched topics. crush6.png

After service, I had other duties, making me one of the last out of the door. He was also, one of the last.  I had been attempting to actively avoid the man. But, he caught me in the transition going out of the doors, with a mutual married friend… She graciously stood between us, awkwardly. (Kind of seems set up?) He asked about my family in Florida – with the hurricanes and such… We spoke about other stuff, I can’t remember at the moment. In any case, I was taken away, Pastor’s wife needed me to do something… That ended the conversation… I think he attempted to wait for a few, but eventually left. Probably not wanting to look weird… I also didn’t know how I’d rejoin them, the conversation was so… basic. He looked tired. *Sigh*

I sent our mutual friend a text message after I got home to make sure I wasn’t awkward. Now I am even second-guessing that because, what if they were together and she said something to him? Ugh! I could just die… She said I wasn’t at all awkward. She also invited me for a KDrama movie day/night! Yay! That will be fun.

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Love comes in many shapes and forms. I also have the distinct pleasure of being a mother – a single mother – a single mother of three wonderful children who are growing up way too fast!

This morning, I took the younger two – ages 10 and 8 to the bus stop, because it was raining. When it seemed as though the bus was nearing, I had them get out of the car, and I pulled up to head to the church. #1. They did not allow me to hug them upon exiting the car. I barely touched my son’s face, and did not touch my daughter’s face at all. Then, to top it all off, as I pulled the car slowly up to the intersection, adorned with a HUGE smile, I waved and blew kisses, and gave them the heart sign with my arms. Those children of mine, who USUALLY return my blown kisses, and heart signs, after some scrawny blonde headed boy turned around, did not acknowledge me, or my efforts. They would not even wave. I realized that they were likely embarrassed, and wouldn’t give the heart symbol, but I thought they’d at least wave?! NOPE! Dejected, I drove off, and I cried. Then, after a long day of volunteering, I come home. USUALLY, I am greeted at the door, by three children, fighting for the first hug. Not today Sammy! No one hugged me, until 7:45pm, when I REMINDED them that no one hugged me today. Sad day to be a mom in the Booger household. What a way to come to grips that being a mother is hard work, and my babies are no longer babies. They really growing up.

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