Motives

Everyone has a motive for the things that they do. Some people are driven on pure selfish, self-satisfying motives. Some people are driven by the need to be accepted by others. Are there any people driven by any purely unselfish motives? Are there any?

You see, lately I have been accused of being threatening, rude, selfish – among other things. As I look over the conversations, and look inside of myself… I cannot see it? My motives are not that wicked! Then, I question do the one(s) that making me doubt myself, and my motives potentially not have the purest of motives?

But as long as I know my motives, and God knows my motives, does it matter if the other party knows? To be right with God is to be right with man. So how can I make it “right” if a person is determined to see only evil in my intentions? Turn the other cheek. And that is exactly what I have been doing. I apologize, repeatedly, yet, nothing changes. They have they talk about me, call me names, and no matter what good I do, they only see evil! What can I do? Pray and fast. I don’t want to – says the flesh rising up in me. Haha. Ugh. This Christian walk can be exhausting.

Let me not forget people who are motivated to receive as much as they can from others. Now, as one who is often on the receiving end of this type of relationship, disguised as friendship. I must say, it is difficult to say “No,” because you consider yourself needed, and a friend. Or, you simply feel bad if you say “No.” Now, I have learned to say, “No.” And, let me tell you, when that person who was motivated to get something for themselves out of the relationship hears “no” for the first time… Whoa buddy! It’s like I killed their dog, insulted their mother, grandmother, daughter, and all of the women in their family for generations to come and past! Imagine my horror to discover this. How hurtful! When I thought we were friends. I valued our friendship. Yeah, I had an inkling that I was being used from time-to-time, however I took it because I valued our relationship – our friendship. You see, I have never had many friends. My ex-husbands (yes, both of them) kept me so isolated, that I depended solely on them, so to have friends, female friends means so much to me! I love my friends. I will do anything for them. I value them. How can one know the motive.

I do my best not to offend. Obviously, being human, it happens. My prayer is that the Lord correct me immediately. Let me never be too proud to humble myself before those whom I offend. Let my motives be pure. Though I have been hurt, let me not hold it against anyone. Let me be quick to forgive, that the world may see You in me. If my motives are ever in question, let them be found blameless. Let everything I do be done in love. Let me remember, always, that it is not how the world sees me, but You.

Let me be known for the works of my hands, not the words of my mouth. I never profess to be a “Christian.” It is my belief that others will know that I am a follower of Christ by the works of my hands, not the words of my mouth. They will know that I am a follower of Christ by the love that I spread, not by my declaration of Christianity. I am far from perfect – a work in progress – I hope to never betray the love Christ has given me, or lead someone astray because the motives in my heart are not pure. I pray that I am not defined by my “religion” but my “relationship.” Let me lead by example. Let me not be a stumbling block. Oh God, let me not cause any man, or woman to stumble at my words, or actions. Let my motives be pure. Let me see the good in my brothers and sisters. And let me discern with a pure heart… In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen…

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