“Wisdom is the principal thing…”

Proverbs 4:7 (KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

The kids and I are on a 31-Day Journey through Proverbs. I originally started the Bible-reading Plan, in seeking God’s direction. Then I realized, day-1, that it was also a useful study tool for the kids – all of us, to read, discuss as we read, and attain knowledge and understanding on the way. They are full of questions, it is so great to see their eyes light up when the scriptures finally click! I do my best to break it down as applicable to the here and now. I give examples from my life, hypothetical examples, etc… And, we are making a wonderful journey! (Thank you, Lord for the wisdom on how to teach and guide them through these scriptures!)

Well, this morning, I’m driving to work, and a sister from church calls me. (We were working together to prepare a family’s home for a repast following a memorial service – our second in a week.) Before we were about to hang up she goes, “Jessy, you better learn to accept someone’s ‘thanks.’ When they ‘thank you,’ it is a blessing, and when you throw your hands up, not accepting it – we all know it’s unto the Lord, but you are blocking their blessing. By blessing you, they are blessing themselves, and you are blocking the flow of blessings. Not only are you blocking it, you are saying, ‘I’m not worthy.’ And you are worthy, because you have His blood flowing through you. You need to hold your head up, and walk with Godly confidence, and strut your stuff!”

Let me tell you, I was/am thoroughly chastised. We read the scripture about giving thanks where thanks is due. Why do I feel like that doesn’t apply to me? Just like the parable of the prodigal son, I felt like it didn’t apply to me. Just like David – he had a heart after God, and sinned greatly! And, yet, God loved him, forgave him. Why not me? Her words are still in my ears. When the scriptures said to decrease so that He could increase nowhere did it say for us to walk around unworthily. We are worthy. We are bought with a price! I am a child of the King. Yet, the weight of what? weighs so heavy on me? Why do I feel so unworthy that I can’t even accept a thanks? It’s okay to say, “you’re welcome.” Right?

We had an eye opening discussion about this verse yesterday. Not this verse alone, but also the verses that follow. However, if you do not keep your heart, guard your heart carefully, it will take you off your path.

To be like Job!

This is what I should have titled this post… I told my kids, during Bible Study last night, the dangers in letting just anyone into your heart, is they will get you off course. No man can serve two masters, he will love one and hate the other. You will waver! I opened my heart to a man that openly stated that he didn’t believe in God. I married that man. Although God delivered me from that relationship, I went back into it. I loved man more that God. Although man hit me, cheated on me, stole, was emotionally abusive, and never showed love, I chose man. God, was loving, forgiving, gave me everything I asked, blessings on blessings, always made a way, He was my strength, my comfort, my protection, my provider, my healer, my friend, my way-maker, my everything, my peace, my joy, my deliverer, the list can go on and on! Still, I did not choose Him. I chose man.

To be like Job! Who lost everything, he still chose God. There wasn’t even a choice in his mind. He lost his home, his children, his earnings, his friends, livelihood, everything! And he still chose God! That is wisdom! That is true love! That is how I want to be. That is who I want to be. I was in tears yesterday, before my children, as I confessed to them, that I know that I am not there yet. I love God sooo much! Yet, I put so much before Him – work, kids, serving Him even! Sometimes I serve God so much that I don’t have time for God. I’m too exhausted after all of the serving, that I don’t feel like praying or reading my Bible. I tell the kids to pray on their own. Sad, isn’t it? Wrong! It’s infuriating. I’m ashamed.

I told the kids, don’t open your heart up too soon. I’m not ready to open up my heart to another – I may never be ready. When I truly have God as my God. When I can be like Job! Then, maybe, the Lord will see fit to give me another chance. Until then, I have to get this part figured out. Wisdom… it is definitely the principle thing… I’m learning a lot! Getting me some knowledge and understanding!

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