For a man to have friends, he must show himself friendly. That’s what the good book says, in any case. This isn’t an easy feat for people like me, introverts. I’m friendly-ish, I’m friendly enough, I’m awkward as heck. Making friends doesn’t come easily to me. I speak, and relate to kids very well, even older adults – like 50+. However, individuals my age, not so much… Yet, I find myself craving friendship…
I have a wonderful group of gal pals – my very own Golden Girls. I love these gals so much. We haven’t gotten together as often as we have in the past… I wish we would get together soon, I need my girls! But, it’s all good. They are older. They helped me through divorce, break ups… They are like family, if not better… They are so good to me and my family. I love them so much!
So, I am working on making new friends. I have been doing well(ish) in this department, I think… Last night, I initiated a conversation with someone from church, to find out if he knew who else was interested in Mariners games… Led me back to a gal from church… Which is good, because I like her! And, he was right! She is interested in going to games with me! I like her. This could be the start of a new friendship – I have only to come out of my shell?
I also hung out with my pilot neighbor. He is pretty cool. He invited me to Hawaii at the end of the month. Crazy? Maybe. “We’re going to help one another check off places on our bucket lists.” Strictly platonic.
Reconnections are pretty cool too. I have reconnected with a former coworker, RR. We are both Cancers, both about the same age, both recently divorced, kids around the same age… She just lost a ton of weight! Looks great! We’re going to a Mariners game together at the end of March… I can’t wait!
Oh! Speaking of reconnections! There was that trip to Europe…
Then there is my best friend, my sister. How I wish we lived closer. One day we will. I believe that. It’s nice to have a friend that I have known – and has known me forever. There is no judgment. I can simply be myself, and vice versa. There are no expectations of one another. Just someone with whom to talk – tell things that you can’t otherwise tell anyone else. Most people wouldn’t understand – or believe what we’ve been through in our lives. As we both heal, it’s almost a parallel process, of healing and growth. I see things in my own life reflected in my sister. It feels promising. When she hurts, I hurt – same with her children. I believe that also works vice versa.
I tell my children, and young people whom I mentor, It is better to find one or two really good friends, than to have a lot of “friends” that aren’t really your friends at the end of the day.
No one should feel like the words in the above quote. However, too often that strange phenomenon occurs. I’m a party to it. I’m not immune. Unfortunately, I also think I have given that feeling away as well. Sometimes intentional, sometimes not. I’m working on my communication skills. Honestly, I don’t always see a point in communicating… Then, there are times when my directness is abrasive. Then, there are times when there is just a block in communication that the other person doesn’t perceive my words, no matter how I say them. Frustrating. I’m learning to let it go and not fix it. Not my place.
If a person knew you, understood you, was truly your friend, these constant issues would not persist. I know where I stand.