I Am So Embarrassed I Could Cry

So, I typically say that I don’t embarrass easily. It’s a lie! I embarrass super easily. I am the most embarrass prone person that you will ever meet. It does not typically show. Instead, I am master at vague disregard, and avoidance – if I have been embarrassed by you, in front of you, or because of you. My parents ridiculed me for wearing my heart on my sleeve, while trying to teach me to be heartless. I am too empathetic to be heartless. I feel too much, haha! INCLUDING EMBARRASSMENT! So, vague disregard, because another lesson they taught was: to square my shoulders, hold my head up, and never let anyone get the best of me. So, I just fall apart in secret.

So, along with wearing my heart on my sleeve, I blog my thoughts, emotions, aspirations, for anyone, or no one to see. Then, when I discover that perhaps someone I know, hopefully, someone I don’t know, has read a blogpost, that I (now) wish I had “Published Privately.” But, who reads my stupid blogs from Facebook?! No one! But someone(s) did. I am usually pretty good about checking my “Stats.” Gotta know who’s reading which blogs. But, I’ve been so busy that I’ve neglected my “Stats.” How could I be so negligent?! Wonder, did I get sick for all of this worry… (Nah, it’s because I’ve been taking care of these sick kiddos.)

I’m COMPLETELY embarrassed by myself right now. I have no idea where it is that I should not show my silly face. I need my fever to break by Monday. Gotta teach Safety Training. Ugh, I’m dying already. I’m dead. I just died. A ghost is typing this. I’m mortified. I want to die of embarrassment. Oh right, I already died. I am dead. And stressed.

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