“Share your story here…” The prompt each blogger sees as we begin our posts… Some days the words pour out of me, some days, I have only the concept, and will the words to follow… I rarely consider that I am “sharing my story…”
In truth, I had a rough Saturday night. So much uneasiness. I suppose it manifested in my health Sunday. I nearly fainted while driving. I have no idea the cause. I ate breakfast, I have been staying hydrated – I have no idea what is wrong with my body!
In any case, Pastor talked about the “Truth of Salvation”. I have to lay the foundation prior to yielding my greatest takeaway: 1. Sin = to miss the mark 2. Sometimes we miss the mark because of our own sins. 3. Sometimes we are knocked off course, because of the sins of others. 4. Baptism washes all sins away, and we are washed in the Blood.
Then he said something that brought tears to my eyes, and as badly as I willed them not to fall, I failed, because it hit me where I sat, right in my heart. You see, as he was speaking about being knocked off course because of the sins of others, and that can cause us to miss the mark, he said that it is not ours to own. He said, “That man that molested you, that spouse that mentally, emotionally, or physically abused you, and came across your path, and caused you to veer of your course – miss the mark, wasn’t your sin to own, but you were effected by it.” Boy, I knew that, but I needed to hear it again. We all have hurts, and pains, and I am so guilty of taking ownership of things that are not mine to own.
You see in my waking early this morning, I was led to read Psalms 26 and 27, and Romans 12. They spoke of overcoming evil with good. Though bad things have happened to me, though I have been mistreated, I can still pray for my enemies, Prayers of blessings, not curses. Vengeance is the Lord’s, not mine. For this cause I needn’t try to take revenge in my own hands. Once upon a time, before I was healed of the past hurts, and pains, I wanted to see what was done to me, done to them. I wanted to see them suffer, as I suffered. I can truly pray for God to bless them now. Vengeance is NOT mine.
One of the best things that I have done for myself is learned to forgive. Not only forgive, learned to love unconditionally. This is not an easy feat. When you have been hurt by those whom you loved with everything you had, when you have given so much of of yourself, to find yourself, an abused wife, who has also been cheated on, then abandoned… Forgiving is not easy. Loving is not easy. “Love covers a multitude of sins.” In order to do this, I must forgive. In order to speak with grace, I must do so in love, and truth. This is a way of saying, “Everything you did to me is past, forgotten, I forgive you. Let’s move on.” It’s the only way to move on.
I have found myself forgiving, and seeking forgiveness, from those who hurt me in the past, both distant, and not so distant. Some of those conversations, I knew that I needed to have, but I did not know how to have them. Like, I didn’t have the words to speak. And, in all honesty, I didn’t want to screw it up. As I am learning and growing, and healing, and listening to truth, I am changing. I am learning to give grace to others that miss the mark, as Christ gives me grace, time and again.
Life is funny, you know? Missing the mark isn’t just the basic murder, cheat, steal, etc… I ask myself: Am I living the life that God intended me to live? This is different for all of us. We might miss the mark in our own individual manners. Perhaps, you shouldn’t have gone there and you did. Maybe, you should have done that thing, and didn’t. Better yet, I am not supposed to ingest that stuff, and, oops! I just can’t get enough… I’m supposed to love them, but I cannot figure out how to forgive… You are supposed to witness to her, but you cannot see past the ________… Is this resonating? Does it make sense? I hope so… Lead the life God intended…
Don’t miss the mark! I love you ❤️ 💕
On the Outside Looking In 