What’s in a Hug?

I said, someplace that I am a hopeful romantic. Just what makes me hopeful? Even I cannot quite answer that question, however let’s just say that I enjoy finding beauty in the world around me. I think love is a beautiful thing – even if it isn’t for me. I cry during weddings. I cry during movies. I cry when I’m happy. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t hold a grudge. I laugh and crack jokes, when I’m embarrassed or sad. Humor is my go-to. But, the tears – silly tears, sometimes still seem to flow… Besides, hopeful sounds better than hopeless. I’m not hopeless by any means…

I heard something, not long ago, that I thought sounded quite romantic regarding a hug. (I hope I can get this right.) The thought was something like this: When you choose to hug someone, you invite them into a sacred place, all your own. You don’t have to share that piece of yourself with just anyone, however you chose to share it with them.

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Now, there are different hugs that we give different people. To my children, I squeeze! Or, I cuddle, or I comfort. My friends, it depends the level of our friendship. Like, have we passed the side hug stage? Can I tell you that I neeeeeed a hug and don’t let go?! Hah! Then, there are the hugs we give individuals with whom we just aren’t that close. Perhaps this is a side hug with an ocean between your bodies, you just kind of lean in… Or maybe, you are getting there a frontal hug with one arm, lean in. Or, go for it we’re some sort of intimate! Full frontal, arms wrapped around, no air can escape between you two, hug – yes, yes there are varying degrees of hugs in between my descriptions, you cannot expect me to list them all here.

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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone, and hugged them while they were crying, or sad? What were your thoughts at that moment? Can you recall? I remember consoling my ex, many moons ago… I remember thinking, as he was in my embrace, I would do anything to take away his pain. I would give anything, to stop his hurt… I was emotionally immature back then. When your special someone is in despair, what propels you forward, to wrap him/her in your embrace? Sometimes, I wonder if it’s more for us, than the other person… We can be so uncomfortable with emotions that we just need it to stop.

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Now, I don’t care what anyone says! No one hugs quite like a Mom! (Not my Mom, but my family was not at all affectionate.) A Mom’s hug has the power to fix, soothe, comfort, melt, whatever the need!

I have two daughters and a son. We hug first thing in the morning when they wake up. We hug when we leave for school/ work. We hug when we see each other again. We hug at bedtime. And then, there are those times, “I need a hug” or “Come, let me hug you” or “FAMILY HUG!” And we hug, as long as they, or I need. Sometimes, they request the hug, and I realize that I needed the hug. Hugs are such a powerful vehicle with which we share emotion. So much can be felt in a hug. Emotions can be soothed in a hug. And no one can hug you like a Mama can. I like hugging other Moms, because they hug me just right. Haha. Just enough to soothe my anxiety, and make me feel alright. Only Moms can do that.

I met a nice Marine in San Diego. One thing I remember about hugging him, was the sturdiness and protective feel of his hug. I didn’t want him to let go – I hadn’t been held like that in ages! What a dangerous game to play. Timing. Terrible timing. I don’t date. We should never have embraced… But, man, it felt nice. I’m one of those people, that’s like, just hold me. Haha. But, I knew better than that, and yuck, I’m not a clingy gal by any means. Still, hugs are nice. I had forgotten. Hugs are nice.

Why did I hug that man? Of all the strangers I met that weekend, that tried to:img_7825

Why did I give that man my attention? Probably because he spoke to me like a person, not a conquest. Probably because he was respectful. Probably because the conversation never stopped. Probably because rather than hit on me, he tried to get to know me. Probably because he wanted to know my middle name. Who wants to know your middle name? Probably because he genuinely wanted to get to know me. I hugged that man. I broke my own rules and hugged that man. Why did I hug that man? I vowed not to hug or touch prior to – what engagement? Haha! Something like that. So why did I hug him? Probably because he was the first person to take my mind off of ________. Probably because he tried to get to know me. And, he was the first person to take my mind off of ________.

Is this what I really want – someone to take my mind off of ________? I don’t know. I decided to break contact with Mr. San Diego Marine. I don’t date. As much as he is trying to find a reason to come to Seattle… Why? To visit me? As much as he wants me to come back to San Diego. I will, to visit my brother. I didn’t ask him any of the questions that are important to me. I didn’t measure him against my list. Well, not that I can’t. I’m afraid. What if he measures up? What if he doesn’t… I was so certain that ________ was I don’t know – but Mr. San Diego Marine made me forget _________ if only for the moment… What does that mean?

Enough about me… Back to hugging!

At my job, we have this philosophy, “If you hug one, you better be willing to hug ’em all!” So, with that being said, however you hug, (if you don’t hug, maybe open your mind to it – baby steps though) spread care and concern: Hug ’em All!

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