Today I found myself in place all too familiar, feeling heavy with the weight of others’ stress. Walking into the homes of others, I never really know what situation I will face. Families seem so put together one week, falling apart the next.
Yes, this situation is unfortunate, and how do you think it is affecting your son/ daughter? Better yet, how are you dealing with all of this? Imagine my surprise to hear, “we know that it’s in God’s hands.”
But you are on the verge of losing everything, AGAIN. I didn’t say it.
That’s faith. I say that I have faith in the good and in the bad. I say that I will trust Him, whether I have everything, or I lose it all, yet in the face of someone else’s adversity, I questioned how they could possibly trust in Him. I feel so ashamed.
Haven’t I experienced loss? Haven’t I lost those things that matter most to me? Is it because they don’t embody what being a “Christian” looks like to me? Am I that judgmental? I was pricked in my heart and immediately convicted. I left out of that dark, gloomy home, and decided, after leaving to take a walk in the sun.
On my walk, I had to think, what would life be, if I truly lost everything just like those times I thought I lost it all and wouldn’t survive? I didn’t lose everything with the abuse. I didn’t even lose everything when my body was invaded against my will. I didn’t lose everything when he kicked me out of the house. I didn’t lose everything when I lost that relationship, lost my pride. I didn’t lose everything when I lost those babies. I didn’t lose everything when he took all of the money from the bank account, the furniture out of the house. I didn’t lose everything when he moved out of the house. I didn’t lose everything when I was out of work for that month. I didn’t lose everything when my parents forsook me. I didn’t lose everything when I gave my heart to Christ, turned away from Christ, or gave my heart back to Him. I never truly lost everything at all.
In fact, I gained a whole lot. I have gained experiences to share. I have gained lessons learned. I have gained the ability to forgive. I have gained awareness of what it feels like to lose everything, and what it means to make it out on the other side. I have gained compassion for others. I have gained a desire to help others. I have gained a sensitivity to those who are in pain and peril. I daresay, I have gained a heart.
Although, today, I seemed to have forgotten, momentarily all that I had ever been through. How could I put myself on a pedestal to look down on someone less fortunate than I? When, at the end of the day, aren’t they just like me?
I decided to walk in the sun, to clear my head. And, on my walk in the sun. I looked at the beauty all around me. Looking up, looking down. Looking left and right. Didn’t my Father create the trees, the grass, the clouds – He set those in the sky! That bird that just sang his tune, I believe that was designed just for me. For my Father knew, that I was going to take a walk in the sun, and He knew that He would need to remind me how small I am in His great design. If I could but paint the picture of the beauty I see, when I take a walk in the sun, I would do it no justice.
The same with each life. Amazing how in His hands the story unfolds into a beautiful work of art, a radiant storyline of beauty rising from dust. Impossible! Others say, that shouldn’t be, you shouldn’t be standing, you shouldn’t be happy, you shouldn’t have that smile! Oh, let me tell of you of a joy I found! Better yet, I’ll show you. Join me, for a walk in the sun.