Society tells me I should be a certain way, but I tend to buck against the norm. I walk to the beat of my own drum – always have, and I suppose I always will.
Society teaches me how to pursue, “it is the only way to ever get what I want.” I have decided to wait. I am much more worthy being pursued.
Society is all about the upgrade. “If you want it, go get it, when you’re done, leave it – there’s always something better.” I want something that lasts – my job, car, if ever I have one – a relationship…
Society tells me that I need to improve my looks, my body, my personality, my hair – I’m not thin enough here, too thick there, too loud here, too quiet there, fix this, that’s okay (sometimes)… But what does Society know about me? When I have learned to embrace my quirks, my personality, and I find myself wittingly lovely!
The thing about Society, it’s restless with itself. It’s lost. It’s searching. Yet, so are so many searching for an identity they will not find in their clothes, shoes, body, or hair. It is absolutely not the outward appearance which is why so many are left feeling so empty inside. I too felt empty, once upon a time…
Once upon a time, on a quest to fill the emptiness within me, I allowed a man – I thought – to pursue me. Down the road, I realized, it was I who was pursuing him. I married that man on the saddest day of my life, against my better judgement… I recently read somewhere: How it starts is how it ends. Abrupt. No room for questions. There was no real beginning, it makes sense that the ending was so –
It took me a long time to recover, already empty, then add abandonment… Oh the questions! Society told me to find another man. I turned to my First Love. The One whom had always been there. He had waited, waited for me to notice Him, just maybe I would love Him again. Only He could fill those empty places. And I was never alone. I read from His book, I drank from His cup. Slowly but surely, the emptiness eased away. He loves me, and I love Him. What more love can I have?
All those messages Society sent, His love erased. I found my identity through Him. He is Lover of my soul and provides my every need. I no longer have to pursue, beg, or plead because the love He has for me – He gives it freely. Who am I? A question so frequent on my lips. Worthy. Child of a King. He also calls me, “Lovely.” Most of all, I am His. Finally, I belong. Finally, I am at rest.
*Original Image taken at Bellevue Botanical Gardens.