Worthy

we are all born so beautiful

the greatest tragedy is being convinced we are not ~ Rupi Kaur “Milk and Honey”

One thing I have seen made manifest in my life is the Lord truly gives beauty for ashes. Out of the tragedy that hit our family/friends this month, I have seen the beauty of relationships restored and developed. In the midst of pain, mourning, our family has been brought closer together. Unlike when my Daddy lost his father, or mother. It didn’t even happen when Mama lost her mom. Who knew, this loss would be the loss to wake everyone up. This loss would be the loss to draw us closer together. I pray this lasts, I pray it doesn’t fade away… I pray we aren’t all striving for closer relationships, all due to the shock of the loss, but for the realization that we need one another.

I hadn’t seen my Mama in a couple years. For her, I suppose, it was like seeing me for the first time. For the first time in my remembrance, she called me, beautiful. Now, I have found my worth – found my identity through the my Father, the Creator. Still, I would be lying to say I wasn’t moved by her words – because I was, hadn’t I sought her approval my entire life? You know what else? It didn’t mean much more than when I get hit on by a stranger – calling me “beautiful.” I was grateful for the compliment and, as I said, I found my identity and worth through Christ. I am captivating!

As I come to realize my worth, I also realize that worthlessness is a theme that runs rampant in those around me. So many individuals do not yet know how worthy they are – and even still, there are those times, those moments, I struggle to find mine. Being a leader can be a challenge. Lord, I can’t do it! I whine to Him all the time, not realizing that what I am experiencing is feelings of unworthiness. When at last I am reminded that He called me to this particular ministry – not for those people, but for the kids and teens. I am reminded that He saw me as worthy, He entrusted me with me with this mission… Who am I to allow my petty thoughts – for the sake of others – to stand in the way, and cause me not to do what it was that I was called. Doesn’t that put me in direct opposition of what the work He called me to complete? Is that not liken to rebellion? Carefully, carefully I must stand and fight against all feelings of unworthiness. For I am worthy!

When we don’t know our beauty, when we don’t know our worth, when we don’t know we are loved… We lead a hopeless existence. “God loves you.” A simple message, yet a message that one is sent to give a hurting heart. How many out there never know they are truly loved? How many never believe it – never feel it? But, “God loves you.” A saving grace, a ray of hope? No, you are not alone, He sees you! The world, society, if you will, teaches us not to feel, teaches us that it’s okay to stay down and never find our worth – but I know a God who is bigger than that! Who not only shows you your worth, but gives you your identity, restores your joy, and reveals your true beauty! For we are all beautiful, captivating, and oh-so-worthy!

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