Matthew 18:21-22 KJV “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
“I said I forgive, now help me to walk in forgiveness.”
Have you ever been wronged? Have you ever been wounded? Have you ever been wronged or wounded by someone(s) whom you cared deeply for, and the assault took a lot to forgive? Like, you said you forgive, and for the most part, you forgive – but then, just the thought of that thing they did, or the mention of their name, and don’t let me see their face – can bring up some emotions in direct opposition of that forgiveness that you proclaimed? Or am I the only one… But this isn’t God’s way…
70 x 7
I shared in my previous post that I am dealing with a separation/transition… I believe that I briefly mentioned a betrayal? Well, I said, “All is forgiven,” immediately! I mean, no hesitation, walking in forgiveness, I got this! The next day, like a punch in my gut, I felt that! I felt the betrayal, the assault, the rift in the relationship – did I say rift? More like, the wide berth, because they destroyed the relationship! Now there is a hole larger than the Grand Canyon between us, and I thought you loved me – I thought I loved you?
When I truly ponder the meaning of what Christ meant when He said, “Seventy times seven” coupled with the Christian cliche of “Walking in Forgiveness” I prayed for revelation. In truth, I said I had forgiven, and I had, except when a feeling was triggered by a thought, a conversation, etc… And I found myself not “walking” in that forgiveness. Not even a little bit. Then, the days I just wake up, without any provocation and without any feelings of forgiveness. Can anyone relate? Have you ever been this deeply wounded? Heaven forbid a new betrayal bring up the pain of a former betrayal that you were certain you had moved past…
Seventy x Seven… I heard a preacher once say, “And once they reach the 490 in a day, because some will, you start all over!” There went my idea to keep a running tally right out the window! (Smile, I was like ten years old!) Recently, (yesterday) I asked the Lord for clarity on “seventy x seven.” It’s not about the number. It’s about the process of forgiveness. There are days when I wake up and it’s like: Forgiveness? No sweat! Other days, I have to put seventy x seven into action. Those days, when I’m reminded of my hurt, my pain, the event – I remember that I have already forgiven and I ask God to help me walk in that forgiveness because I can’t do it on my own, because today it’s going to take me seventy x seven times to get to a place of right standing with my brother/sister/friend. Today, it’s going to take me seventy x seven times to get to a place of forgiveness again. Yesterday, was easy – I didn’t even think about it, but today, I need help! Today, I need to put seventy x seven into action.
I never truly understood what it was to walk in forgiveness or seventy x seven, although there were betrayals I have been working on forgiving for years, pains I have been trying to forgive… Now that I understand, I think I can truly walk in forgiveness and forgive seventy x seven with His help and by His grace.