Where Are You Going?

Some people seem to have their entire lives planned out from age 7 to age 67. It amazes me when their plans actually come to pass! Me?

“I don’t have 20/20 vision I can’t see that far in front of me.”

I have tried to be supermom and plan meals for the week. However, my meal planning chart on the fridge has become a cute spot to exchange notes with the kids throughout the week. Very encouraging for all of us, and hey, we eat tasty meals each day!

2018 has seen a lot of change in my life; Many transitions, now that I think about it. I didn’t always see it at the time, however each shift was leading me exactly to where I was supposed to be all along – setting me up to walk into my destiny.

The Lord leads us and we follow. Sometimes, He has to give us a nudge. I worked at a Children’s Longterm Inpatient Program (CLIP) facility for two years. I was a supervisor. Loved my job! Well, last May, we stopped taking admissions. Last September we closed our doors and layed off all nonessential employees (we kept clinicians). We who remained began to rebuild the program. We’re talking everything – policies, structuring the day, even made structural changes to include a seclusion room, hiring questions, supervisions, meetings schedule, and last, but not least the organization chart.

The way things had been going – against my beliefs – I knew I would have to compromise my beliefs, or leave the job I loved, eventually. I had no intentions on leaving anytime soon. So, here I am, working from home, two sick kids, calling into a meeting (we had so many) and they email me the organizational chart as it’s on the screen in the meeting. I’m perusing it. Looks good, except – I’m not on it?! Why am I not on it?

“Maybe God is trying to tell you something.”

There I found myself, not long after, as we neared reopening, on “Administrative Leave.” I held the title for Care Coordinator, because we needed one to reopen, but didn’t have the credentials because they wanted a Masters level. So, Administrative Leave while working with HR to find another position for me in the agency. We found several positions, but the head of HR said, “No,” each time. Why? “I’m not trying to get rid of you yet.” I still don’t know what that means other than, it was time to leave.

A month without a job… Thank the Lord for savings! I was too embarrassed to tell anyone until after the fact. I didn’t even tell many people!

In any case, I found myself on the path of a new position, doing something that I was not even sure I was made to do! But, guess what?! I love my new job! Where I hesitated, because, God, are sure this is the right place? My first day, in our Monday Meeting, during the weekend check-in, my group of peers had no issue saying, “I went to church yesterday,” or “I want to thank God…” Mouth wanted to hit the floor, but didn’t – so this is why you brought me here… A completely different atmosphere! Where I had been a minority, not for the color of my skin, but for my love for Christ, and heterosexuality – here I fit right in! Imagine!

Sometimes you don’t realize your own need for connection until you are connected.

This was only the beginning of the Lord leading me. I began to pray more, as I desired to be made whole – as I desired all that He had for me!

Psalm 37:4 KJV “Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

One item on my 40 things to do before I turn 40 bucket list was to buy a house. I’m not totally sure when, or what, determined that this year, was the year, to make that dream come true. I had plans. I had goals. I knew what I wanted, sort of. But, the Lord provided a home for us, far above my expectations!

In one of my recent posts, That Time I Transitioned I wrote about another HUGE transition… I am learning – NO, I am living, “We walk by faith and not by sight.” When I put my life completely in His capable hands – well, He has continued to make something out of nothing. I have no fear of what tomorrow will bring, because I know Who is writing my story.

**Another Original Photo Courtesy of My Beautiful Daughter**

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