A Longing

Have you ever longed for something or someone? Like, really longed for something? Me neither. However, I do know what it is to want someone/something.

Longing is defined as a “strong desire especially for something unattainable.” (Thank you, Merriam-Webster.)

Again, I will ask myself, have I ever longed for someone/something? Well, after hearing the definition… Technically speaking… My answer has indeed changed. Once upon a time… I longed for someone. I knew that particular someone was terribly wrong for me – still I longed (and I longed).

One day, my prayer shifted from, “Please God, let him return to me,” to “Thy will be done.” Somewhere along the way, I stopped searching the scriptures for words to explain to myself just how a spouse could just leave. I began to read the words written specifically for me. My eyes began to shift focus. A heart that once longed after someone, began to long for Christ the Lord and only to serve Him.

Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” ~Augustine of Hippo

God has shown, and continues to show, His compassion and love towards me daily. In the spring and summer, I noticed Him romancing my heart with the flutter of birds’ wings. In my loneliest or roughest moments, driving along, I would see a bird fly along. It would remind me of

Luke 12:6-7 KJV “Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.”

I was reminded of my worth, reminded of His love for me. Now, in the autumn it is the falling leaves. Of course I adore the beautiful colors on the trees! However, it’s in those moments, driving along, when a leave flutters down from a tree above, or from who knows where, in front of me! The first time I saw it was two months ago. I was driving down a bendy, two-lane highway, crying – don’t ask why, I cannot remember – and a large leaf fell and hit the windshield. I’m fairly certain it was a perfect leaf! It brought a smile to my face immediately, and I thanked the Lord! Funny how something will happen to bring us out of our misery – I am 100% convinced it is the Lord! I am excited to see what winter will bring, and how He will show – how He has always show His love specifically to me. (Not that I plan to be in a state of sadness or anything – but we all have our days? I have a stressful job, haha)

I wasn’t always able to give God glory or acknowledge His love for me, when I found myself in a difficult place. Now, however, I find it second nature. I look to Him because He is the source of my strength.

Psalms‬ ‭63:1-3‬ ‭KJV‬‬ “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.”

‭My greatest challenge to date, while waiting on God’s promises is trusting His timing. I know He has a plan for my life. I know that His way is perfect and better than anything I could ever dream up… Still, sometimes while waiting, and all I have is my faith and trust in His timing for His promises, I have to be intentional about not settling for less and not taking things into my own hands. I honestly don’t know how some people just know when I am at my weakest moments – that’s when the invites come. Apparently, I’m not as weak as I thought I was, thank you, Jesus, because I at least declined or ignored. Grateful, for a Comforter who supplies my every need and gives me strength!

Philippians‬ ‭4:11-12‬ ‭KJV “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.”

I will continue to daily shift my focus and the desires of my heart shift to longing after Christ and all that He has for me. Daily, He invites me to read His Word. I realize my prayers are being answered as my children have a longing to serve Christ and a love for Him. Such a wonderful feeling to take all of our needs to Christ and know that He will take care of them. My heart can be at perfect peace, knowing He supplies my every need.

*Original Photo taken and edited by my daughter ♥️*

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