“We must let our identity not our insecurity, be the first thing that walks into every situation we face – every decision we make.” – Lysa Terkeust
A gentleman I know asked a question on Facebook. He asked, “Who has ever felt left out or out of place? I want to know, please tell me.” Our pastor responded, Me. Someone else responded, We all have at some point in our lives. I didn’t comment. I didn’t like or anything like that either. But, I could commiserate with him. Sure, I have felt left out and out of place. It’s like a daily game I play, haha! But, I didn’t admit it, I don’t know why? Even my children, who know me best in this world, rarely believe me when I say, “I’m uncomfortable.” Or, “I understand, I am insecure too.”
Why do we hide from our emotions, when we aren’t the only ones that feel like this?
It’s astounding to me, how we can see only ourselves, only our insecurities – thinking everyone else has it all together. When it simply isn’t so! Name one person who has it all together, or hasn’t felt left out… Please? I’m dying to know! Sure, we all react to the feeling differently. I happen to be an oddball, I don’t allow any of my true feelings to show, I just blog about them later, hahaha! Seriously though. Feeling left out or out of place, I hold my head a little higher, give the appearance, this doesn’t bother me at all, meanwhile, I’m searching out my escape! Does it actually show? Maybe, I’ve been caught attempting to escape a time or two… Not sure they understood how uncomfortable I really felt, I wasn’t leaving out of sheer boredom… Nowadays, I am more apt to remain in a social situation. However, you’ll find me with a person who was alone, not seeking attention. Because, who wants to be alone?!
Knowing who you are…
Discovering my identity was the absolute best thing that could ever have happened to me! Despite any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, I rest in knowing who’s I am, and who I am. And that outshines everything else! I dare say it proceeds me, wherever I go. And, who knew I would have such a big personality?! But, haven’t I always? It’s just that I had been hiding it away. Why? Because, growing up, I was too loud. As an adult I was too much. As a result, I decided to just hide myself away, be who everyone expected me to be. How many folks are like this today? Hiding away from who they are until they are awoken by someone who can truly love and appreciate them for who they are, not who they want them to be? Thankfully, it was God, not man, that woke me up, and loved me back to life. You’ll tell me, He’s always loved you! Yes, I know that. Now. When my eyes were trying to gain the affection of my parents, then my spouse – uselessly. It was difficult to believe that even God loved me – lies the enemy whispered in my ears.
Now, I spread my story of faith, hope, restoration and joy. If it reaches just one… Even if only to help me get through the process.