I have had the most enjoyable weekend with my kiddos! When we went out to do a little Christmas shopping, that I said I would not do, I was happy to hear the Christmas music on the radio! This is proof to me, once again, that I am healed! Before, I would not listen to the Christmas music – painful time of year. This year, those memories are in the past, thank you, Jesus!
Scars fade with time. The story of how we got the scar loses some of the details, as the memory also begins to fade away. And as for the sweet moments and happiness? Well, I suppose it’s a good thing there are no physical reminders for those… Still, I wonder why it’s the tough memories that are such a challenge to move past? Perhaps it’s the lack of closure. So glad I found out, for the answers that never came, wounds and scars still heal. And everything gets better with time. Then, one day, you will wake and find yourself happy, content, enjoying your best life! Something I never thought possible, yet I am living proof.
“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” ~Chuck Palahniuk
Pain tends to teach us valuable lessons, if we allow it. My pain taught me forgiveness, especially for the apology that never came. It also taught me to love others, as I love myself. Which is quite the funny thing, in my pain, somehow, didn’t I learn to love me? It taught me compassion. When we have been hurt in some way, we have a choice, we can either continue the cycle of pain and hurt others; or it can end with us. I decided that it ended with me. No more pain. I chose compassion.
I still have work to do, by the grace of God, I am a steady work in progress. Pain pushed me into hiding years ago, yet I feel the Lord calling me out, telling me to emerge. I haven’t been out in ages. I’ve been quite content here. And, if I’m honest, well now, I have grown accustomed to living my life this way. It’s comfortable. Still, the word echoing in my mind: Emerge. (I decided to look it up.)
Emerge (verb) – move out of or away from something and come into view
– recover from or survive difficult or demanding situation
The first is the main definition of the word, the second is an additional meaning that stood out to me… For me, I have recovered, so now it’s time to emerge. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I’m really awesome at hiding in plain sight and I am even better at avoiding! I avoid some people, most social gatherings… I won’t continue because… haha! Anyway, I can’t keep doing that! Right? I can’t keep hiding behind my kids.
My friends have been so patient with me. I moved into my new home four months ago and have only had a few people over. Truthfully, I thought to host a house warming party, but who has time to plan? Now the holidays… But, I digress.
Anyway, once I figure this emerge thing out, or I actually get out… More to come! In the meantime, I think I will turn up the holiday music, and have some hot cocoa…
(New Oxford American Dictionary)