Relationship Things

“Show me your smile. Let it dance for a while. On your face, what a place for a smile to be. On your face. On your face. Show me your frown. Make it sad like a clown. When you’re down, its okay with me. When you’re down. When you’re down. I wanna know when you’re happy. I wanna know when you’re sad. Papa said thats the way it all started with the best friend he ever had…” Tom Wise

I think everyone had a childhood best friend growing up. There are a few lucky individuals that are still best friends, or at least friends with their childhood best friend. I had a best friend from the age of 4. We are still friends! She and her family have even relocated to this lovely state where I live, believe it or not! Not because of me, of course. In any case, for those of us who had a childhood best friend, who remembers what that was like? I remember going to each other’s homes between church services, the sleepovers, staying up all night, daydreaming about when we’re adults… We got glasses only weeks apart – the same pair. We shared stories about our crushes, our heartbreaks when he liked someone else, our first boyfriends… Somehow our relationship changed… Then, we married and I had kids. Friendships change, but the friendship remains.

I was watching YouTube and heard a curious statement. It gave me pause and I wondered, Have I been wrong all this time? I watched a TEDTalk dealing with infidelity. (Hang in here with me, watch where it goes.) The speaker spoke about marriage, the changing views of marriage. Today, we marry for love. In a marriage, we seek: love, passion, friendship. True, I’ve been there. But, passion fades. I would say it comes in waves, or shifts. This is why infidelity occurs. Or infidelity can occur because “of something within a person changing.” I didn’t understand this one. Other than midlife crisis. I need to be someone different, not who everyone wants me to be? Is this supposed to be a valid reason? She hit my feel spot when she said, “Since we seek so much from marriage, marrying for love and when there is infidelity, it is traumatic.” It is traumatic. From experience, it’s like, how do I ever find a friend like you? But then, why would I want to? Maybe this is why I stay so guarded… When the person who knows everything about you, and vice versa essentially says, okay I’m done with you. Some people say, I want to marry my best friend. I think it’s a beautiful sentiment. I married my best friend, once upon a time. We’re still friends, but he has a new best friend. We still do/say the same things, at the same time. It both makes me smile and sad, I don’t know why? Does it ever go away? I don’t have a “best friend” who knows me like that. I don’t think I want one. I have close friends. “Best friends” as adults are not the same as when we were little girls, haha. There’s only so much we share. Why? Fear of being judged? I like of think of myself as nonjudgmental, it’s apart of my job. If we’re playing or bantering, well that’s all in fun. I love to play, who doesn’t? But then, for as open as I am – or claim to be, I realize that I am a closed book. Only allowing anyone to get so close. I recently started watching Seinfeld again, and I thought, this is so me! I can waste so much time talking about absolutely nothing! No wonder I love the show!

Anyway, I’m going out today with some of my gal pals. We are all pleasantly different and get along wonderfully. One is the planner, not this one. She reached out two days ago to confirm and ensure for parking, time, and the entrance fee. She’s timid, yet a silent leader. Love that about her, but she doesn’t know what strength she truly possesses. The other is the advisor, so she’s always asking questions. She is also the sweetest among us. And how would I describe myself? Umm… I bring the life, duh. I am the pusher. I push people to do what they want to do all along and are happier once they do. I just don’t live my life this way, haha. Not a self pusher? My motivations are for other things…

*Original Photo: This Photo was taken circa October 2007. I was a Bridesmaid in one of my best friend’s weddings. Always the bridesmaid back then – already the bride 😊

P.S. (I absolutely loved the song at opening (Show Me Your Smile) as a child! Actually, I loved many of Tom Wise’s songs, I didn’t like PB&J back then, but I enjoyed the song. Nowadays, I actually enjoy PB&J, so I can truly appreciate the Epic of Peanut Butter and Jelly Okay, not what this post is about, haha! I am just excited to have found these songs!) In my last post, I stated that I was going to write about friends, it just didn’t fit in that post, not the direction the post had gone… Hope you enjoyed this post – it also took a different direction?