“What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon.” ~George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
I think I’ve watched this movie since I was young, sometime in the month of December. A simple reminder of the precious gift God gives us, above all other things: Life. Although, like George, it can be so easy to become consumed with everything we wanted for our lives. Everything that didn’t turn out as planned. Everything that appears to be going wrong. That we can forget to enjoy the life we’ve been given, with the people with whom we share it. We really may never know how many people our lives reach, touch, impact – however small or great. Still, in some way, we are all connected.
Watching this movie with my kids. Who have struggles at schools, this made for great talking points. Watching this movie as a person who tries, and sometimes fails to see the best in others, I had a thought, maybe he was right? I had a conversation, seems like forever ago now, and I was told, you made a huge impact here. There will many that will be sad to see you leave. I was brazen enough to say, I disagree. He challenged, You’d be surprised. Now, I must admit, maybe he was right? We don’t always know the impact we have on others. Sometimes the negative influences are louder than the positive. But then, is it a matter of perspective? For me, at that time, in the place I was in, just getting there was a battle. Even seeking help, no one heard me.
“Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people!” ~ Old Man, It’s a Wonderful Life
It’s rather funny how, when you’re a kid, you cannot wait to grow up! You count down the years to graduation… I think my parents had a countdown as well. Me? I’m crying on the inside when my eldest begins to speak about high school (next year) and only let the tears fall safely in the confines of my room. The other two follow so quickly after, two years, then another two years… I remind them that they don’t have to leave home.
Sunday night, while getting the kiddos at my church ready for the Christmas program, one of the little boys asked my height. Tall enough. “But Michaela’s taller than you.” Yes. “So you’re short. At least you look young.” I’m speechless. “How old are you?” Old enough. Then he starts to share his mom’s age. I don’t think your mom wants you sharing her age. Too late his sister shares it! This is getting out of control as everyone starts sharing their mom’s ages. Then someone brings up Pastor. Okay guys, that’s enough. Let’s run through our parts. “Okay, but how old are you?” “And, how tall are you?” 32, 5ft. (I didn’t even round up, haha.) Those kids were tough. “You’re young.” Curiosity satisfied, no more questions.
Why is there such a need to conceal my age? I’m not old. Yet, I sometimes wonder: What has become of my youth? Am I wasting it away, always busy with this and that? Am I too busy? Am I beginning to feel older? I used to feel youthful. My ex and his wife are so mature… I have felt so much pressure to get on their level. Especially when others are asking me, have you grown up yet? I mean, I’ve grown up. I am grown up, whatever that means. There’s nothing wrong with being youthful as well. I cannot compare myself to others, or live up to their expectations. I thought to try. How exhausting! And, may I add, depressing! One of the most liberating things I was ever told was, Keep being you. We love you for all of the energy you bring. Not, tone it down, you’re too much, haha!
I’m no George Bailey. It didn’t take a guardian angel for me to realize what a gift I have been granted each day I’m alive. Still, through life’s journey, I hope I never forget, it’s still a wonderful life.