Holiday Spirit

I didn’t read the tag until after the fact. So glad I finally read it… “To Jessica, From P, S & W.” I will admit I cried. Ten years of my life with their son, three children together. This is the first time they acknowledged me in a positive way. Even writing this post, tears in my eyes, not tears of sadness or regret. I can’t even quite place the feeling… Perhaps it’s a feeling that in time, all things really do turn out alright in the end. Maybe it’s a realization that there can be peace and love where it did not exist. With God all things truly are possible.

My bathroom counters are clean. I feel like such a fraud! But my friend came over to the house today, before we went to a movie and dinner. (Tomorrow my godparents are coming. Let’s see if the counters stay clear! But between doing my hair, washing my face, my morning/night routines – we’ll see!)

Now as I sit, in this empty space, dog playing at my feet, I reflect on my day. Reflect on my life this gift God gave to me. Separated by decades, though sitting with her, I never realize it, former coworker turned friend through hardships of life, a kindred spirit within. A couple years ago I asked her, does the bitterness ever go away? I’m glad she was wrong! Because, the bitterness definitely goes away!

She shared something today that moved me: For the two days a year I’m lonely, and I think wouldn’t it be nice to have someone here? I soon get over it. I have so many friends that I think it just wasn’t meant to be for me. I wonder how much of that was true? From time to time she speaks about marriage… I wonder does she long? I didn’t dare ask. Not sure what kept me silent.

“Can’t we keep the Christmas Spirit all year long.” Linus – It’s Christmas Again, Charlie Brown

It would be nice if we could keep the “Christmas Spirit” all year long. Maybe we would experience that peace on earth, good will toward men, and some joy to the world 😊

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