“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your relationship status define your life but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After working itself out.” Ashkay

Lately, I have been receiving all manner of advice on what I should be doing as a “young, single woman.” Advice that is not entirely bad. It also is not entirely necessary. I know that those who care about me don’t particularly like to see me “alone.” I also know that it may seem odd that some of my friends include my ex-husband and his wife, her ex-husband and his wife… But, such is my life… I am actually content with my life as it is…

I am not interested in “putting myself out there,” on purpose especially – just to maybe meet someone. If it is God’s will that I meet someone someday, well, I suppose on that day I will know. But, today I’m not concerned with appealing to a man, or going where he can find me. It may not appear, to those who love me, that I am “living my life.” But, I am living my best life at the moment. I am content – I’m happy! I spend time with my kids, I go out with my friends (outside of the ex/stepmom). I am often busy with church and school. Married folks do not understand, singleness is not a deficiency, rather it’s a journey.

Having been married, I have a wonderful appreciation for all that singleness has brought me. An opportunity to learn about myself, to love myself, and an opportunity to heal. So many – even I did in the past, look for a relationship to heal their hurts, find their worth, prove that they can be loved. But, it has been in the time of my singleness that I have accomplished all that with the help of God. So, yeah, I’m living my best life right now.

*Original Photo*


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