Oops, I Did It Again

I apologize if you got your hopes up, I won’t be breaking out into my own version Britney Spears’ former hit song. Nor is this post anything like it… And, I would sing for you – who am I kidding, I wouldn’t do that to you! I’ll leave my joyful noise for God and any lucky soul who rides with me in my car.

In any case, I suppose, it’s confession time. Time for me to come clean, admit my faults, face my own humanity. To be quite honest right now, I don’t even know where to begin! Perhaps I’ll start small… Speaking of my car… I nearly allowed the oil to run out. Again. Only this time, I rolled into the dealership at 3% of oil life left, rather than 1% like last time. That ought to make someone proud? Then, Tuesday, in stop traffic. Yes, stop, not stop-and-go, we didn’t move for I don’t know how long! My low fuel light on, couldn’t tell how many miles left until “E“… I prayed, Please God, if you allow me to get to a gas station and fuel up without breaking down, I promise to never do this again. I was sincere. You see, I didn’t refill sooner, not for lack of opportunity, funds, or even a crunch for time. I did it as a test: Car says I will get “x” miles out of this tank. Let’s see how many I really get! To be honest, it wasn’t my first time nearly running out of fuel. To make matters worse, I didn’t even get the mileage count!I’m done playing games. It may not sound like it, but I do love my car. It’s time to take better care of it… Believe it or not, there was once upon a time, I used to refill at half a tank! Daddy told me to wait until I had only a quarter left… How did that dwindle to gas fumes?!

Have you ever been lost? Like honestly lost, could not find your way, navigation wasn’t finding the location? You were L.O.S.T. – lost! Yeah, I’ve been there a time or two. What makes it worse? Living in the Pacific Northwest where it still gets dark relatively early. I teach my kids something my mother taught me at a young age, “Always know how to find your way home, then you will never be lost.” Those words are true in more ways than one. So no lie, there I was – lost. Sure, once I found my way to familiar territory, I was no longer lost, and I found my way – not to where I was going – or thought I was going, but maybe I didn’t need to go there after all?

I find it curious, how our lives teach us valuable lessons. You see, once upon a time I had depleted all the oil in my lamp, without going back for a refill. My oil was at 1% I didn’t realize that my lamp was dying. I was dying, spiritually, and couldn’t even recognize it. I’m more careful these days, to guard my oil, protect it, keep it fresh. At least that’s what I told myself. Until I realized that I was in need of an oil change myself. My oil had been sitting. That was some recovery effort on my part! It had grown stale and was beginning to dry up. Well that explains the attitude that needed adjusting. That explains the pride problem I recently developed – who am I anymore? Where I felt as though I was in complete and utter darkness, light was fading quickly away. I remembered that if I could just find my way home… “God, I’m lost! Please help me!” It’s a wonder how quickly the darkness evaded and light illuminated. He truly hears us when we call, because just as quickly as I called, I found my way!