Deprived, Rejected, Empty

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat” (Genesis 3:6 KJV).

Sometimes it seems, as a woman, I am still living my life in a fallen state, following in the example of Eve. Meanwhile, I end up feeling empty, deprived, and rejected. Because, sometimes, the things in this world can look so appealing to me. But in the end, after I have tasted, I’m left empty.

Maybe you can relate to me? Maybe you, too have felt empty, deprived, rejected? Perhaps not all? Maybe one… Maybe a combination? I can admit, for me, one feeling led to another, which led to another. I have felt all three. Until at last I was left empty. I suppose the order I should say is: deprived, rejected, empty – at least, that’s how it was for me… I used to live in that state, bouncing between the three. Rejection never really leaving me. But that emptiness! Ugh… I never could do anything about that emptiness no matter how much I tried.

I want a promise for my problem of feeling empty. Lysa Terkeust

I recall a time, not so long ago, where I felt empty inside. Even after I had “turned back to God,” I hadn’t surrendered my heart fully to Him, to fill the emptiness I was experiencing. No, instead, I turned to things that I thought would gratify. After being rejected – everyone experiences rejection, I know. But, for some reason, it was a rejection I could not seem to let go. The sting seemed to pierce me to my core. Was it because it reinforced the previous rejection and the words that had been said to me? I felt as though I had no choice but to believe them.

In turn, I found myself longing, earnestly yearning for a man that would not return to me. He consumed my thoughts and I found myself unconsciously waiting for him… I felt so deprived of love – though I didn’t have a name for it – that I searched for something to make up for the lack. Instead, I overcompensated. I didn’t chase men. I didn’t search for love in the right or wrong places. Quite the opposite, I built walls, no men allowed. No love here. Instead, I felt like I had to prove that I was worthy. I worked hard to prove my worth to me – too hard, to the point of burnout. Looking back, it feels rather foolish…

Lies flee in the presence of truth. – Lysa Terkeust

The lies I told myself, the lies I allowed myself to believe… It took a transformation and renewing of my mind for me to really discover the truth of the matter. One thing became apparent, we are tempted and drawn away of our own lusts… When I first realized this, I thought, What have I been doing? Filling my life, my time – trying to achieve academic success, favor of people, trying to climb every ladder I could! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but what were my motives? Who was I doing for – certainly not God… Trying to gain approval through my works from certain people in my life – approval that would never come.

I was Deprived. Rejected. Empty.

Somehow, I was shaken awake. I was able to see me. I was tired of feeling empty. I was done with the vicious cycle of feeling deprived, rejected, empty. I knew there had to be more! I told others there was more! I spoke life into the lives of others, why wasn’t there any life in me? Why was I empty?!

Truth is the perfect tranquilizer. The enemy’s power is powerless in the presence of God’s promises. Lysa Terkeust

We have so much life in us, we aren’t meant to be or feel empty. God’s promises for each of our lives are real! As I tell my kids, we have to stop looking at our circumstances, stop looking at our mess, and look up to the Creator! He didn’t design us to be empty vessels. It’s His breath flowing through us! Feeling empty? Fill up on His love! Fill up on His Word! Fill up on His promises for your life!

Don’t get so consumed on the mess that you miss the miracles. Lysa Terkeust

*Original Photo*