I don’t know what love looks like, perhaps I’ll never know… But, just what is love? I asked myself today. A topic that has been on my mind, as it seems to be top of everyone’s list.
True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding. Ellen G. White
“How would you feel if I move near you, if everything fits? I’m ready to settle down and you’re the only one I feel comfortable with.” Wait, can you slow down? Can we pray about this? “Absolutely, 100 percent. But, I have left it in God’s hands and since we last spoke on the phone more than 4 years ago, there’s only been you.” That was 6 years ago. (I’m really confused, I don’t recall speaking of romance…)
Not quite the confession I ever expected from this man or any man. Not quite one that I thought would move me. In truth, I cannot say if I was indeed moved or not. Is love supposed to feel comfortable from the start? I suppose if one heart loves first… If you’ve known someone for a long time… Can love blossom from a long time friendship? Or is he confused, thinking that love and marriage can bloom? It’s always a dream to “marry your best friend,” but is that fact? Are we best friends? What if I don’t feel like that?
Still, I’m trying to wrap my head around “you’re the only one I feel comfortable with…”
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Harry, from When Harry Met Sally
“I knew that I wanted to marry him because he was a hard worker.” Upon hearing that I was slightly confused. I glanced around the room to see if anyone else had the same sentiment I had. Nope. They were all smiling reassuringly. I suppose I was the only odd one here? Sure, everyone marries for different reasons, but this was not the reason I expected to hear. I mean, people marry for love, devotion, all sorts of things. But the unromantic reason of “hard worker,” was just foreign to me. I suppose I am not as practical with matters such as marriage. I mean, hard working matters, of course, but with a heart as romantic as mine… Only hard working wouldn’t sell me (or buy me?) you understand, right?
Maybe I’m wrong here? Maybe I have gotten it wrong all along? Perhaps if I had cared more about him being a hard worker… Maybe comfortable isn’t so bad?
“Anyone can love a thing because. That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.” Kvothe, from The Wise Man’s Fear.
I know another couple, a genuine love, I would say they share. If ever love should find me again… Well, I want him to love me like that and I’d want to be a wife like her… We were planning his 50th birthday party and nothing was seeming to work out. I recall her just breaking down in tears, “I just want to do something nice for my husband because he does so much for me and for everyone, and he deserves it!” I was in tears as well. She would move heaven and earth for the man she loved – the man who loved her, and I was willing – compelled to help! They were family to me. To watch them together, was to see true love. It was not always sunshine and rainbows, but there was always love… You could feel it, you knew it… Always consistent. Always the same.
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” Maya Angelou
I don’t know if it’s a fear/courage thing keeping me from trusting love again? I think it’s that I honestly don’t know what love is! Is it looking for someone with whom you can be comfortable? Is it seeking a hardworker to care of you? I am a hardworker too… What about the fun? I am such a free spirit, I need life in there too! Those reasons sound so – boring! My life is anything but boring right now! Why would I want to ruin it? I’m not at all against love, settling down – but does living have to stop? I don’t think so!
“Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” Jeanna Moreau