The past has a funny way of creeping up on us when we least expect it. I don’t know about you, but when this happens, whether it’s the happy memories, or the not so pleasant memories, it has a way of raining on my parade. Immediately, good mood – vanished. Replaced by a distracted mind and the occasional bout of tears.
This is not living the life God intended for me.
I thought I had moved on. I thought I was free. But more recently, I began to catch myself taking peeks at what was, forgetting the promises of what will be. When I looked back at what was all I saw/felt was pain, a trail of mistakes tossed in my face. If only ____, then maybe _____.
Knowing it isn’t right, but unable to escape on my own. Luckily, I didn’t have to. It both sucks and is a blessing to be called out for who you are. To not be able to hide behind the smile you’ve dawned your entire life. To have to admit to yourself, for once, and to God, this is where it hurts!
He took the stripes on his back, the nails in his hands and feet, the crown of thorns in his head, so I didn’t have to hurt like this. When he said, “It is finished,“ and gave up the ghost, he canceled out my debts as well. My past is finished, washed in the blood, why do I keep looking back. I too, had to give up the ghosts of the past…