Measuring Up

What is it about some men, that they cannot be direct with a woman about how they really feel about her? I mean, why keep a gal guessing where she stands?

He invited me here, but he hasn’t engaged with me at all. Sometimes I feel like I don’t measure up – like, ‘Why me?’ So, when he invited me, I was really happy, but now I’m just confused.

Listening to her story, I could not help but want to hug her. I refrained because, well, I didn’t really know her. Still, I was familiar with her pain. The internal conflict of: does he or doesn’t he? The feeling of never measuring up. I’ll never be Cinderella, the slipper will never fit me. The surprise when he actually asks you to dance. As if it wouldn’t be his honor to dance with you. Yes, I’m familiar with that…

Maybe that’s why I am no longer “available.” Maybe there is no such thing as the right guy. Maybe I’m just not interested in the ups and downs of the maybes and the does he or doesn’t he’s? Maybe I’m just not sure I want to try.

In the same conversation, she said, I don’t care, I have no expectations. She also said, It’s only the beginning, learning each other is supposed to be fun. I think it is fun. Either I know nothing about dating or we have different thoughts on the matter…

I started to have a vague interest in a guy, a while back. I mentally shut it down as soon as I realized it, because in my mind, I did not measure up. I am that kind of person… All in or nothing at all.

Of men, I have learned, they fear rejection as much as women, only they wear it differently… Men can also become hurt during interactions. Still, their response to, the way they show it looks different than a woman’s. Of course, other factors come into play: personality, culture, emotional intelligence, the way he was raised…

Sometimes, I wonder if I hurt him. Sometimes, I want to call him and truly apologize. I suppose my pride won’t let me? Or maybe the fear of being ostracized…

The world of men and women, I do not understand. Why they come to me for dating advice, I don’t think I will ever understand… I just hope he can be direct with her about where she stands – don’t keep her guessing…

*Original Photo: Me & My kids’ uncle