What causes a person’s heart to harden?
I think it’s unforgiveness… Of course there could be more: bitterness, hate, hurt, anger… Things like that… But isn’t the root of that unforgiveness?
Yesterday, was a tough day. I hadn’t realized that I had been holding things inside, until I had a temper tantrum in my car on the way to church all because of a text message…
I responded to the message as kindly as I could, Sure, whatever you want. Please communicate effectively with me next time… As I had sent the same, or similar messages – how many times in the past? He was changing things to suit his needs, per usual. (I should really get a life, then maybe this won’t happen.)
He didn’t respond.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV
Charity… Charity… Just what is this thing called Charity?
Charity can be defined as 1) love of humankind; 2) kindness and tolerance in judging others. So, goodwill, compassion, consideration, kindness…
I fell short, missed the mark on charity yesterday… I was unable to bear and endure all things. Yesterday, it was all too much. Yesterday, as I tried to turn the other cheek, I felt as though I didn’t have any other cheeks left to offer.
I didn’t want to give a fake smile, act like everything was okay. I couldn’t! As badly as I have always wanted to be an actress, yesterday was not the day…
When I took the time to pray, came to the end of me, I realized that I was trying to do things my way and not His. I was leaning to my own understandings and not trusting in the Lord. Neither was I listening to His voice. As if I knew better, or He just didn’t understand.
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 KJV
We’re supposed to forgive them even if they aren’t sorry. We’re supposed to forgive the apologies that never come…
Yesterday, I fell short of this. It was difficult. I was reminded that to be forgiven, I must also forgive.
I don’t want my heart to be hardened. I don’t want my love to wax cold. I don’t want to harbor any unforgiveness or pain. I have to let it all go. Sometimes, it’s a daily struggle. Sometimes, we feel disrespected. Sometimes, they really don’t hear us. But, it isn’t for us to hold. We have a great, big God, with great, big shoulders, whom is here to carry it all for us. We just have to trust Him enough to carry it all.
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 KJV
My hands off, His hands on…