Sometimes It’s Hard

What causes a person’s heart to harden?

I think it’s unforgiveness… Of course there could be more: bitterness, hate, hurt, anger… Things like that… But isn’t the root of that unforgiveness?

Yesterday, was a tough day. I hadn’t realized that I had been holding things inside, until I had a temper tantrum in my car on the way to church all because of a text message…

I responded to the message as kindly as I could, Sure, whatever you want. Please communicate effectively with me next time… As I had sent the same, or similar messages – how many times in the past? He was changing things to suit his needs, per usual. (I should really get a life, then maybe this won’t happen.)

He didn’t respond.

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Charity… Charity… Just what is this thing called Charity?

Charity can be defined as 1) love of humankind; 2) kindness and tolerance in judging others. So, goodwill, compassion, consideration, kindness…

I fell short, missed the mark on charity yesterday… I was unable to bear and endure all things. Yesterday, it was all too much. Yesterday, as I tried to turn the other cheek, I felt as though I didn’t have any other cheeks left to offer.

I didn’t want to give a fake smile, act like everything was okay. I couldn’t! As badly as I have always wanted to be an actress, yesterday was not the day…

When I took the time to pray, came to the end of me, I realized that I was trying to do things my way and not His. I was leaning to my own understandings and not trusting in the Lord. Neither was I listening to His voice. As if I knew better, or He just didn’t understand.

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:21-22‬ ‭KJV‬‬

We’re supposed to forgive them even if they aren’t sorry. We’re supposed to forgive the apologies that never come…

Yesterday, I fell short of this. It was difficult. I was reminded that to be forgiven, I must also forgive.

I don’t want my heart to be hardened. I don’t want my love to wax cold. I don’t want to harbor any unforgiveness or pain. I have to let it all go. Sometimes, it’s a daily struggle. Sometimes, we feel disrespected. Sometimes, they really don’t hear us. But, it isn’t for us to hold. We have a great, big God, with great, big shoulders, whom is here to carry it all for us. We just have to trust Him enough to carry it all.

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” 1 Peter‬ ‭5:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

My hands off, His hands on…

*Original Photo*

5 comments

  1. I, too, feel that it’s very hard to forgive, especially when the other person is not sorry at all and when they continue their disrespect or even their abuse.
    I, too, have moments when the anger or frustration wants to come back and crawl up into my heart – we are all human and all have feelings and feelings can be triggered by what other people do or say.
    Being a child of GOD is more than a feeling and bigger than all our feelings. There is nothing JESUS asks of us that HE won’t help us with.
    What helps me in these times is something that Derek Prince said: “Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a decision.”
    And when I remember that, I can repeat to forgive them… over and over again.
    Every day if necessary.
    Not for their sake, but for mine!
    To cleanse my heart from bitterness and also in order to be forgiven by HIM for my own shortcomings and for my own sin.
    I think everyone struggles with forgiveness and I believe that HE knows… and that HE will help us.
    You are not alone.
    In fact, I believe you are much better at forgiving than many others who don’t even try or don’t try as much, as hard or as long as you do.
    HE sees you and HE will honour your efforts.
    What also helps me is the knowing that the other person WILL be judged, that they will have to answer JESUS for what they have done.
    Sending prayers and empathy, my sister!
    We are in this together and only we know how hard it is to forgive- „they“ don’t know! If THEIR heart wasn’t so hardened, they would never be able to hurt others the way they do!
    Forgiveness is so difficult and yet so rewarding! Not only in this life…but also for the life to come.
    GOD bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much your encouragement! Brought tears to my eyes! It helps to know that “I am not the only one.” I am not alone. I really like that quote from Derek Prince! Thanks for sharing. Forgiveness really is about us, not them. Forgiveness is very rewarding – as you stated. And we must forgive, because we have been forgiven. I appreciate your comments because they are so inspiring and heartfelt! GOD bless you my sister!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can understand you in this. Even I was in something like this, people always wants me to do their works and help them and I do it because God would want me to but there were times when I lost my patience and acted out of anger, then I’d pray and things will go back to normal. But the thing is if people are depending on you for all their works and they expect or love you nothing beyond that, then I don’t think you can always let them use you to help them. God said forgive and we forgive, God said help the needy and we does that, God said love each other and we does that bit God also said that love your neighbor as yourself and that also implies that you should love yourself too. At the end of the day we’re all humans and God do forgives us if we behave like one anger and all and he will help us control our issues and be more like him 💚

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s