My Fake Boyfriend

It’s an age old question, Can men and women be just friends?

My answer is usually yes. As I’m a notorious friend-zoner and grew up with quite a few male friends.

I saw one of them today. One that I saw as more of an older brother than anything. His younger brother was my best friend all throughout high school, so he was there… He was in that “older brother protection squad” whom also gave the solicited and unsolicited advice. Who would also jump to my defense at the drop of a hat…

I typically do not respond to the “DM.” Especially a one-word “wassup.” When we haven’t kept in contact regularly. Just feels… Suspicious? I’ve been burned before. It took all day. I responded, Hey, how’s it going? Discovered he was in town (we’re talking across the country!) and thought about me. It’s not everyday that I get to see someone from back home! I suggest lunch. Of course he’d like that! We haven’t seen each other in 11 years!!

I have to apologize because, I don’t remember seeing him at Walmart.. My memory isn’t the greatest. He tells me that he remembers a lot of things… Nervous laughter.

I don’t know what made me so uncomfortable. We were/are just friends. What’s worse, I lied to him.

I think it was the way he looked at me. The way he looked at me and stroked his beard. Although I was covered up, in a t-shirt and knee-length denim skirt, I felt somewhat exposed.

Then he started talking to me about relationships and things. When they invited to some Renaissance Fair for Dead Bicycles – don’t ask, it’s the best description I gathered from the long explanation they gave – I lied. I said I couldn’t go. Why do you have plans? Yes (Not entirely false and I should have stopped there.) I’m going out with boyfriend. How long have you been together? He saw through my lie. I’m a terrible liar. Then there’s me, sputtering – “Uhhmm, uuhhh not quite a year yet.” I wouldn’t have even convinced myself. In any case, he stopped staring creepily at me.

Saved by my fake boyfriend.

I’m mad at myself for lying. I’m also mad at myself for not being strong enough to just walk away from an uncomfortable situation. Some situations are easy to stand up for myself and walk away. Others are not so easy. Today, I don’t think I was fully prepared for what I was getting myself into. Totally unexpected.

I remember going out with friends and getting hit on by losers. I knew how to just walk away, fearlessly call a guy out – who cares it’s not like I’d ever see him again. I mean, maybe, but I also didn’t care what anyone thought about me. Plus, I had my friends right there with me if the guy tried anything. It’s like I’ve forgotten all that!

Can we ever truly let our guards down? Can men and women actually be friends?

I suppose if everyone is honest with their intentions upfront, it would make things easier. But, so many, myself included, are afraid to say, hi, I’d like to get to know you better. Of course, I’m more of a, let’s be friends and see where it goes, kind of gal. Not a, I’m going to stare at you and make you feel uncomfortable and talk to you about relationships. Or a, I don’t know you but I want to date you. Like, get to know me first and figure out if you truly want to date me. I digress… Memories!

Okay, I’m done.

*Original Photo*


  1. Nice photo. It matches your story well. By the way, it turned out that Amazon kindle charged $ 0.99 for my book Mystery Man’s Daughter during the period of “Free book”. If you haven’t gotten the book, I’ll send you the ebook as a gift from me. I have your email address: If this is incorrect, please send me updated one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Can we ever truly let our guards down? Can men and women actually be friends?”

    I have some great male work colleagues and still keep in touch with some male school and university friends. My husband knows and gets on with them all. I don’t have any male friends that are secret from my husband, and I don’t go out with any of my male friends alone, in my opinion that’s asking for trouble.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have excellent boundaries in place. I recall having similar boundaries in place when I was married. As a single woman, I choose not to be friends with married men unless I’m friends with the couple, or I knew them from before.. I do my best to maintain boundaries. I suppose what my challenge has become is the shift between single adults… Even as a single woman, I don’t go out with male friends alone either, it’s trouble for anyone. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your insights!


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