I Don’t Know Everything

I had a conversation with my godmother today, and realized that I – wait for it – don’t know everything. Sometimes, I need to close my mouth and listen to the wisdom of the elders placed in my life. Pretty sure I read that somewhere.

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” 1 Peter‬ ‭5:5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“It’s okay to do nice things for yourself. Without the kids, I mean.”

I became defensive. Not sure why? She further explained and I softened. I thanked her, sincerely, for giving me permission to do things for myself. Because, I needed to hear that.

As a single mom, rarely do I do anything for myself. I admit, I have loads of guilt spending any money on myself, if I am not also purchasing something for my children. After God, they are my priorities.

I am really beginning to experience growth pains and understand just how short and valuable time is. With college looming and 2/3 considering leaving the state, my heart is glad and in pieces! If that makes sense?

Still, am I teaching them all that I ought? Where is the balance? Sure, I want to show them that they need to live and have their own lives. Having children does not mean your life revolves around them. Otherwise it would completely stop once they left the house.

And, I live. They aren’t home with me 24/7/365. They aren’t even with me all week. So, when we are together, I value our time spent. They value our time spent. Rarely is anyone off, alone, hidden in a bedroom. If I’m in my bedroom, they are often right there with me, sprawled across my bed and/or sitting in my sitting area.

Wisdom tells me, and I know this to be true, that it’s okay to do nice things for myself. My kiddos even encourage me to do so at times. And, I should. If only to teach my daughters their worth. And teach my son a woman’s worth.

Image by KayBee05

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