Missing Home

The holidays are a challenging time for me. It’s that time of year when I really begin to realize how much I miss home. How much I miss being around family and friends.

Don’t get me wrong. It isn’t that I don’t have friends here where I live and even friends who really are family… Still, I miss my sisters, my brother, nieces, nephew… No one can take the place of a parent.

A couple weeks ago, driving to church, I had a huge breakdown: I want to go back home! I don’t want to be here anymore! I mean, tears flowing, nearly turned the car around and went back home, when we were about two minutes away from church – breakdown.

I did my best to suck it up, don a smile, and pretend that I was A-Okay! But, inside, my heart was breaking.

You look tired, someone observed. (My eyes must have been puffy – they puff up when I cry. This is how I used to get caught as a kid..) I am, I agreed. I was.

I wanted to reach out. Instead, I hugged everyone I could think to hug, because I so desperately needed a hug.

I didn’t tell anyone what was going on with me – I honestly didn’t have the words. I just hugged everyone! People I don’t usually hug, even.

I was speaking with someone not too long ago about going to church and they mentioned that one thing that they missed about church is the feeling of community. One thing I love about church is the feeling of family. The feeling of belonging – the love.

Recognizing that I went to church needing something that Sunday, I have been more intentional – not just Sundays, but everyday to extend love to others. To really see others. We have no idea what someone is hiding behind their smile or scowl. Sometimes, it isn’t for us to know immediately. Sometimes, they may not even be able to name it – but a little love – kindness, goes a long way!

*Image by KayBee05