Sylvia Plath said, I talk to God but the sky is empty.
I can admit, once upon a time, I felt like that. (It was my favorite quote.) A series of unanswered prayers, failures, and disappointments in an endless cycle at the time. I thought for sure I would break.
I was right where I needed to be. My breaking point.
Not everyone has to reach their breaking point to stop and truly turn to God. But, I did. Because, consumed with me, myself, and I.. I needed to break free of pride. A nasty, deceitful quality I hadn’t realized consumed me. It kept my eyes down on me and my current mess. It kept me from hearing God or anyone else. Yeah, I talked to God. The sky wasn’t empty, my pride kept me from hearing/listening.. Not to say this was the case for Sylvia Plath – I’m speaking solely for me.
Pride kept my sights down on my current circumstances, on the chaos created by my choices and choices of others done to/against me. Pride kept me from looking up, from seeking help. Kept me from saying, God, I need You! Pride kept me holding on to situations and people I was supposed to let go, trying to fix this and that, all the while creating a larger mess. Pride ensured that I lost hope.
“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18 KJV
I’m so glad thankful for His mercy and His grace. Because, there is hope. Hope and a promise.
Sometimes it takes losing what you thought you needed to find what you’ve really been seeking all along.
It’s really only been the last two years since I fully devoted myself to God. I was born and raised in “the church”. But if I can be honest with you, that doesn’t mean anything except I knew how to do church. It’s really only been the last two years since I fully devoted myself to God.
To be honest, by the end of 2017, all hope was just about lost for me. Still reeling from my second divorce the previous year, an awful situation had occurred at church, and upon my return from Europe, I found out that a guy I inconsistently dated due to our schedules had taken his own life. I was devastated.
Talk about losing hope.
God has a funny way of showing up right on time. He connects and/or reconnects us with the right people at the time to help us through the most challenging times. And in my case, helped guide me back to Him. I only shared the impact that our relationship had on my life with my sister this past week. For no particular reason other than it just hadn’t come up.
I have been reflecting on these times we are in currently. I have friends and clients even who express to me their feelings of loneliness and hopelessness.. I am honest when I say, I’ve been there. It gets better. I don’t know the purpose, but I do believe there is a purpose for what you’re going through. Don’t give up. Press through. Don’t look at your mess. Give it to God and look to Him. Seek Him through prayer. Seek Him in His word, and I promise He will come through for you.
I can say that with assurance because Jesus came through for me. When I surrendered my mess to Him and began to seek Him in His word and through prayer, He came through for me, so I know He’ll come through for you.