Dear Married People…

And people hoping to be married one day… I’m probably not qualified to write this letter to you. It’s not like I’m an expert on relationships or anything. Honestly, I’m a two-time divorcee. No, no, don’t stop reading now. Hear me out.

Most of my friends are married. I come from a group of married young friends, even family, for that matter. One thing I have learned is that marriage is hard work! Too many don’t want to put in the work. Too many would rather change partners, or just go at it alone, rather than put in the work. Speaking from personal experience.

I’m a dog mama. I have to admit that being a dog mama has taught me a lot about not only God’s unconditional love, but what love in a marriage is supposed to look like. Stick with me, okay? Because when you think about, love in a marriage, even the love parents have for children is very much like the love God has for us when done correctly. As a dog mama, I have failed in the love department almost daily. I’ve raised my voice, you’re not supposed to do that. I even gave my dear Missy to another family when she became aggressive and bit someone. Here’s the kicker, I got another fur baby! Essentially, I feel almost like I traded her in for a newer, better model? How many do this in relationships, thinking it will solve all the issues of the current relationship? Only the current issues go nowhere, only to add new issues into the mix. Our new baby is aggressive with the kids and has such extreme separation anxiety from me, I have to take her everywhere I go, even WITHIN the house, or else!

Moving on…

I’ve had several conversations over the past couple weeks with friends, married friends, and divorce has popped up in our conversations. Because he does this or doesn’t do that. And I wonder does he even know? Men, while they are not dumb are sometimes oblivious and need things spelled out in black and white. I learned that not so long ago. Otherwise, they don’t necessarily realize that they are causing hurt or loneliness – I know, some are malicious, but I’m speaking to the majority, who truly love their wives.

Growing up, I had the belief that divorce was the “d-word” – until my parents divorced and rocked my world off its axis, then I didn’t know what marriage meant.

Now, back to reality. I think it’s important that we once again define marriage. I find it important that we no longer allow marriage to lose its sanctification. Marriage is a holy union, established by God. Jesus said in Matthew 19:8 “…Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.“

We cannot allow even the thought of divorce to enter into our minds or escape our lips. Granted, I’m not saying to stay in situations of abuse or adultery. I would really just like to see more sanctification in marriage, especially for the upcoming generations.