Wrestling

Have you ever wrestled with anyone, or watched a wrestling match? I don’t necessarily mean WWE style…

But have you ever felt like you wrestled with God? Maybe not quite like Jacob did on his way to meet his brother, Esau…

I recently found myself recently in a wrestling match. No, not with God or even another person. Rather, I found myself wrestling with myself, my flesh, my thoughts…

Wrestling because I know where God wants me. But, I didn’t know how – well, I’ll stop myself right there and share, honestly, I didn’t want to do things God’s way. I wrestled until I grew tired. I wrestled until I couldn’t wrestle any longer.

It was there, at the end of myself, that I found a place of surrender. It was there that I realized that I was fighting with myself, my flesh, my will, my way.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT

It was at the end of me where I found Christ. I found peace, I found hope.

It is truly so much easier said than done to say, nevertheless not my will but thine be done. Luke 22:42b KJV

To be able to say, not my will, Father, but yours: over my life, my past, present and future; Your will, O’ God, over my children, over my finances, over my decisions, over my family; Your will over the small and the massive details. Your will over the mountains and molehills in my life. …Not my will, but thine be done…

To be able to relinquish all control to God… Let me tell you, it’s not just what He desires for us to do, it’s where I found not only peace, but also liberty.

As Samuel informed Saul: Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. 1 Samuel 15:22b-23a KJV

I experienced, firsthand, what it truly means to obey God – especially when I don’t want to. But all the wrestling, fighting against His will is tiring. It’s also not who I want to be. I want to obey especially when I don’t understand the reason. I want to obey God especially when His ways are contrary to what I would rather..

I’m learning everyday to lay it all down, to crucify my flesh and allow for His Holy Spirit to not only abide in me, but reign in me.

*Original image courtesy of Yours Truly ☀️🤍