Double Minded

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8 KJV

I heard a woman say: I grew up in the church and I was taught to be double minded.

Her statement struck me. I, too, was brought up in the church, and if I’m completely honest with you, I grew up in a house where we were raised double minded. And it took me all the way until my 30’s to realize the error of how I was living.

I was raised “churched”. We were at church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, Friday night, Saturday outreach, and anything in between.

But at home…

Don’t get me wrong… I was raised in a house where my parents did not drink or smoke. We read the Bible together cover to cover annually. I learned how to pray from my mother.

And I grew up in a house where condemnation reigned. There may as well have been a book that kept a record of every wrong ever done. Forgiveness was not a thing, fear was. Love was considered a weakness, right alongside honesty and emotions. And no matter what, you put a smile on your face.

When my parents were going through their divorce and stopped going to church, we children continued to go. And, you know what, we put a smile on our faces.

Jesus wept. John 11:35 KJV

I’ve struggled with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in the past, from my time in Afghanistan. And you know, some of the best advice I have ever received is: Feel it. Let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling.

No more did I have to hide behind the mask of a smile. Or the lie that, I’m okay. When, in truth, I wasn’t okay. I was able to feel, whatever I was feeling in those moments.

If Jesus could weep when Lazarus passed, although He knew God would raise him up again. If He could allow the humanity in Him to feel the pain, how much more can I? Can we?

We don’t have to be double minded. Feeling one way, saying something different. Feeling one way, doing something else.

We need to let our yes be yes and our no be no.

*Original image courtesy of Yours Truly ☀️🤍🌺