After All That…

I woke up this morning with a startling thought: What am I doing with my life? As my kids have pointed out I’m almost 33, and not sure what I have accomplished in these 33 years of mine. I work a mediocre job, that meets my needs. And, doesn’t it bring me fulfillment most days? I am in the process of obtaining my Masters Degree… And haven’t the slightest idea what I will do with it – no plans on leaving my current job, but it should at least earn me a pay raise. But, is this it? Is this all that I’m living for…

I have said to myself and to others, I’m “living my best years.” The unspoken part is that these have been the best years, after living some of the most challenging years of my life. Today, I look back in awe and say, I cannot believe I am here – I am standing, after all that… I owe it all to God, my saving grace. For the obstacles I thought I would never make it through, for the tests and trials – looking back, I can see I was never truly alone, in the midst of all that…

I’ve never been given to making New Year’s Resolutions. Not wanting to commit to something that I cannot, or won’t, sustain. Not wanting to resolve to do something cliché. So, last night, for the first time since (how many years ago?) I sat down and made New Year’s Resolutions. Not your typical lose ‘x-amount’ of weight type of resolutions… But resolutions that matter to me. Resolutions that will propel me to becoming a better me, and I can realistically see myself working on daily. Not just anyone will see the labor of my fruit, but I will – and maybe those who really know me… (Does anyone really know me?) Yes, yes, those lucky few whom I let in…

Now, after all that, I find myself ready for 2019. Like, isn’t it here yet? Haha, kidding – one day at a time, right? Sometimes it’s like I have learned nothing at all! (Gives away one resolution – sort of…) As if I have to wait until 2019, to begin? Honestly, these “resolutions” I have been working on already, just committing them to paper makes mean them that much more… 

Happy New Year’s and many blessings in the year to come!

*Original Photo”

14 comments

  1. Hi Jessy, you accomplished much, kids work and still studying. You’re grounded and guided by your faith and God. So all good ahead. I am SO over 2018 and rely look forward to 2019. Like you, i question too much, with kids, work and home, still studying too.
    Im constantly troubling God for guidance but i think we should give ourselves credit, we are doing the best we can while raising families. ALL WILL BE WELL. 💐🌸🌺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kavitha, thank you for your thoughtful and kind words. You are right, we are doing the best we can and ALL WILL BE WELL. And one thing I must remind myself we are never alone, God is with us, guiding us every step of the way. We’re almost to 2019 my friend🌸🌼

      Liked by 1 person

  2. In the past I’ve always taken easy options with resolutions. The easy ones which don’t really make a difference – so are easy to just give up on. Reading this I am going to try this time to go for more challenging ones which make me at better person – hopefully. Happy New Year.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have done that in the past as well, so for the past few years I decided against making resolutions. I’m hoping to be able to stick with mine this year, as they are actually meaningful to me. Best of luck to you! And Happy New Year.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you are working towards what God wants you to achieve in this life time. He made a plan for each of us to travel as we work to become more like Him. Just enjoy each day with your family. Plus education is important it does bring more opportunities we never thought of. Happy New Year in 2019 !!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You are welcome Jessy B. I am glad I dropped over for that visit. I am also a strong believer in God and what he has for us if we trust him. I know education as I studied lots with a College Education in Business and Social Sciences and a little one not done yet. Enjoy life while you are creating it Jessy

        Liked by 2 people

        1. You are well learned. It is good to learn from your wisdom. “Enjoy life while you are creating it” I like that! I am learning that God has so much for us if we just learn to trust in Him and trust His ways. His way is much better than my way! Thank education is very important. I too am studying in the Social Sciences.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I really enjoyed learning which is a life long goal of mine. I think everyone should do life long learning. I am happy you liked ” Enjoy life while you are creating it”. God wants us to enjoy life as we do not know what to do until we start. Then we should enjoy it all no matter the activity. God does lead us along in what we do. I am glad to read you are taking Social Sciences. All the best with your goals. Happy New Year Jessy B. !!

            Liked by 2 people

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