Despair

That’s the only name I can give to the overpowering feelings that overtook me that day. Never, in my life, do I think I felt such an overwhelming hopelessness.

Thing is, if you were to ask me to name anything contributing to such despair, I wouldn’t have been able to. I still can’t.

It took much of the day for me to finally reach out and request prayer, because in that moment, I couldn’t pray for myself.

Then, I was reminded of Elijah, under the juniper tree in 1 Kings 19. He was in the pits of despair, feeling alone, wishing for death. And God met him where he was and sustained him, gave him the strength to carry on.

I thought of Moses, countless times, overwhelmed with the children of Israel, out in the wilderness. Yet, God met him each time, spoke with him. Lead him.

I thought of David, countless times, in and out of the will of God. Sitting down in despair, crying, all the psalms that came out… Yet, God sent people to him.

I thought of Job. He lost everything. His body was afflicted. Still, he never cursed God. He wished he had never been born. Wished that day didn’t even exist. But, God was with him. God restored him.

I thought of Gideon. He felt so worthless that he could do nothing. He constantly questioned and doubted God. Still God used him and such a small army of 300 men to defeat the Midianites.

May I testify that we serve a God who is faithful, present, and keeps His promises!

Those are just a few of the instances in the Bible that came to mind.

When I tell you that waves of peace swept over me! The peace that I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that could only come from Jesus, felt tangible.

Just as I can’t explain the despair, I can’t describe the peace. God is so good! He’s better than good! And we are a blessed people just to know Him.

*Original image courtesy of Yours Truly ☀️🤍🌺