I Want YOU

Love & Loss: Living in Between 6 comments

“I want you. I love you.”

I found myself in a place, once upon a time, when someone said these words to me… My response, after having been hurt, was: Why would I believe you, after all the hurt you caused me?

I’m ashamed.

I found myself, the other day, crying, with all sincerity to God: I just want You, Jesus. I love you.

And I was reminded of when I heard those words. I remembered my response to those words…

I was convicted.

You see, when we sin, deliberately, or not, we hurt God. And rather than hold every time we have sinned, be it a repeated sin, or not, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse is from all unrighteousness.

Jesus said, in His sermon on the mount: Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Again, conviction.

I’ve held on to hurts as if they were my very best friends.

I’ve erected walls of hurt and unforgiveness, thinking I was protecting my heart and my peace, only to discover that I was causing more damage than good to myself and everyone around me.

I had been bitten, poisoned. And because I didn’t heal, I was infecting everyone around me.

But, thank God for revelations! Thank God, for never giving up on me. Thank God, for showing me how to grant others mercy, grace, compassion and love, the same way He grants me those and so much more.

I so desperately want Jesus. I earnestly want to seek His face everyday that I wake up. I want to be so full of His love, grace, mercy, joy, peace, and forgiveness – that they just spill out of me and touches everyone I meet.

*Original image courtesy of Yours Truly ☀️🤍🌺

6 comments

  1. Jessy, your testament shares what faith and hope are truly about. When we trust to follow the Light, we will feel self-conscious about our sinful journey. But the Good Shepherd brings endless sinners together.

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  3. David, thank you so much for such a supportive and honest comment. I needed that. Sometimes we feel all alone in our hurts and we’re not. I’m learning each day to walk in forgiveness. I want so desperately to live the example that Jesus set for us. And to love our neighbor as Jesus loves us means forgiveness, compassion, mercy, grace..
    Thank you for stopping by. God bless you and your family

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  4. Thank you for sharing with such vulnerability, Jessy B. I needed to read this, as I too tend to isolate from others when I’m hurt. I’m also able to nurse my hurt and hold a grudge for years. This is unhelpful, unhealthful, and not Christ like.
    God doesn’t hold a grudge against me, despite my sins, so I shouldn’t hold one against those who hurt me. I set impossibly high standards for myself and others then take offense when they’re not met. It’s actually pretty ridiculous of me!
    Here’s one scripture that has helped me, I forget the address: Lord, if you marked our transgressions, Lord, who could stand? But with you, there is forgiveness, therefore you are feared.
    Thank you again for your candor. You are helping others by keeping it real. God Bless!

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