“I stood still for a long time, a period of incompleteness completed me.”
Have you ever had your heart broken? Have you ever broken a heart? How long did it take you to recover? How long did it take you to recuperate? Did you ever wonder why you were so hard on yourself? Some relationships just aren’t meant to be. Yeah, we can’t see this when we’re in the thick of it – overcome with emotions, doused by pain and heartache.
Psalms 38:14 NIV “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
There are various situations and/or relationships that serve to break our hearts or crush our spirits, but isn’t it such a comfort to know that the Lord is especially close to us in those moments? Not all of the relationships that hurt us or that we have hurt someone are romantic. I can admit there have been times that I have hurt my parents, siblings, children, friends… Perhaps intentionally, unintentionally, whatever the cause, when they have hurt me, or I them, in those moments of heart-wrenching pain, God was near to me and the other party.
It took becoming a parent for me to realize how such tiny beings can hold my heart in the palm of their tiny hands. Their tears can rip my heart to shreds and their smiles can piece it back together again. I was never the kid to tell my parents I hated them, no matter what I felt towards them… (We were the “seen not heard, not allowed to voice our emotions” type of children growing up.) What I did differently with my children, was empowered them to have a voice. They have never said, “I hate you.” However, I have heard, “I’m mad at you.” That breaks a Mama’s heart! And, they are entitled to their feelings. So, I allow them to feel, as we try to resolve the issue.
Of course, if our heart has been broken by a spouse/significant other – well that’s a pain like no other, that I wish on no one. A pain I never thought I would be able to overcome. And, on my own, I would not have been able to overcome! Thankfully, I have a Savior, a Friend who sticks closer than a brother, He loves at all times, and He was close to me when my heart was broken, He saved me from myself when my spirit was crushed. A pain, I can honestly say that I have overcome by His grace. And, not only overcome, but have been healed and made whole. The process had to begin with me. I had to recognize within myself that I wanted to be made whole. I had to recognize that I was ready for a change. Once I admitted these things to myself and to God, well, the work could begin.
The lump in my chest where my heart once resided began to take on the form of a heart once again, and began to beat. Those things that I lost in the midst of my heartbreak, I have come to find being restored unto me. The life that I dreaded waking up and living each day, has become my greatest joy! I am not ashamed of this life that I have led, it has made me who I am today. It has allowed me to appreciate the journey called “life” that much more. My heart beats again. It beats for Christ. It beats to serve. My heart is full of love, full of forgiveness. I do my best to put my heart in everything that I do. I pray that my heart is reflected in my smile and felt in my words and actions. The greatest feeling I have felt to date is the beating of my heart again.