“Next time give me the benefit of the doubt…“
Misunderstandings can definitely destroy a relationship. When both parties shut down, the distance only increases. I was asked in a recent post, “How do you judge people?” I honestly responded that I typically try not to judge anyone, rather see the best in others. However, that question never left my mind. Along with the conversation, that ended, “Next time, give me the benefit of the doubt.”
I had to wonder, how often do I not give others the benefit of the doubt? If I’m honest with myself, not always – not immediately. Am I so distrustful of others, that I would allow a vague misunderstanding to end a relationship? When I get over my pride, admit my true feelings, I can see things for what they truly are. I guess it’s a case of, it’s not you, it’s me…
I was once told that I was guarded. Where I always felt as though I were an open book. However, it is becoming more and more apparent to me that I am guarded. I rarely share real parts of myself with others, unless you read my posts, is it an insecurity? I can give a reason for why, I am certain I know the answer, but alas, I won’t… I wonder, do I expect to receive the benefit of the doubt, when I have a tough time extending it?
Sometimes, I find that my perception is projected onto others. This often is an unfair, and unfortunate, experience for all involved. What I perceived to have been said, or meant, versus what was actually said, and the intent. Giving the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, I see only black and white, no room for shades of gray, or hues of blues and greens. It has taken me a while to believe again that not all men are after one thing. I have a younger friend, I think we’re friends in any case, who said something to me a while back, I didn’t give the benefit of the doubt. Immediately I thought, must be like all the rest, why would you say something like that all of a sudden? Rather than address it directly, I shutdown. I didn’t even bother explaining what truly happened. For fear I was right? Does it matter? Today, I tell myself no…
As I’m working on becoming a better me. And giving others, as well as myself, the benefit of the doubt. I am trying to also be more open about myself and less guarded. This journey through life is quite the adventure! Forever am I learning something new about myself, and where I can improve.